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vapid by a too frequent reiteration）；
Your amiable inquiry as to how the barbarians pass their time； when
not employed in affairs of commerce or in worshipping their ancestors；
has inspired me to examine the matter more fully。 At the same time your
pleasantly…composed aphorism that the interior nature of persons does not
vary with the colour of their eyes； and that if I searched I should find the
old flying kites and the younger kicking feather balls or working
embroidery； according to their sex； does not appear to be accurately
sustained。
The lesser ones； it is true； engage in a variety of sumptuous handicrafts；
such as the scorching of wooden tablets with the semblance of a pattern；
and gouging others with sharpened implements into a crude relief；
depicting birds and flowers upon the surface of plates； rending leather into
shreds； and entwining beaten iron； brass； and copper into a diversity of
most ingenious complications； but when I asked a maiden of affectionate
and domesticated appearance whether she had yet worked her age…stricken
father's coffin…cloth； she said that the subject was one upon which she
declined to jest； and rapidly involving herself in a profuse display of
emotion； she withdrew； leaving this one aghast。
To enable my mind to retranquillise； I approached a youth of highly…
gilded appearance； and； with many predictions of self…inferiority； I
suggested that we should engage in the stimulating rivalry of feather ball。
When he learned； however； that the diversion consisted in propelling
upwards a feather…trimmed chip by striking it against the side of the foot；
he candidly replied that he was afraid he had grown out of shuttle…cock；
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but did not mind； if I was vigorously inclined； 〃taking me on for a set of
yang…pong。〃
Old men here； it is said； do not fly kites； and they affect to despise
catching flies for amusement； although they frequently go fishing。 Struck
by this peculiarity； I put it in the form of an inquiry to one of venerable
appearance； why； when at least five score flies were undeniably before his
eyes； he preferred to recline for lengthy periods by the side of a stream
endeavouring to snare creatures of whose existence he himself had never
as yet received any adequate proof。 Doubtless in my contemptible
ignorance； however； I used some word inaccurately； for those who stood
around suffered themselves to become amused； and the one in question
replied with no pretence of amiable condescension that the jest had
already been better expressed a hundred times； and that I would find the
behind parts of a printed leaf called 〃Punch〃 in the bookcase。 Not being
desirous of carrying on a conversation of which I felt that I had misplaced
the most highly rectified ingredient； I bowed repeatedly； and replied
affably that wisdom ruled his left side and truth his right。
It was upon this same occasion that a young man of unprejudiced
wide…mindedness； taking me aside； asserted that the matter had not been
properly set forth when I was inquiring about kites。 Both old and young
men； he continued； frequently endeavoured to fly kites； even in the
involved heart of the city。 He had tried once or twice himself； but never
with encouraging success； chiefly； he was told； because his paper was not
good enough。 Many people； he added； would not scruple to mislead me
with evasive ambiguity on this one subject owing to an ill…balanced
conception of what constituted true dignity； but he was unwilling that his
countrymen should be thought by mine to be sunk into a deeper barbarism
than actually existed。
His warning was not inopportune。 Seated next to this person at a later
period was a maiden from whose agreeably…poised lips had hitherto
proceeded nothing but sincerity and fact。 Watching her closely I asked her；
as one who only had a languid interest either one way or the other；
whether her revered father or her talented and richly…apparelled brothers
ever spent their time flying kites about the city。 In spite of a most efficient
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self…control her colour changed at my words； and her features trembled for
a moment； but quickly reverting to herself she replied that she thought not；
thenas though to subdue my suspicions more completelythat she was
sure they did not； as the kites would certainly frighten the horses and the
appointed watchmen of the street would not allow it。 She confessed；
however； with unassumed candour； that the immediate descendants of her
sister were gracefully proficient in the art。
From this； great and enlightened one； you will readily perceive how
misleading an impression might be carried away by a person scrupulously…
intentioned but not continually looking both ways； when placed among a
people endowed with the uneasy suspicion of the barbarian and struggling
to assert a doubtful refinement。 Apart from this； there has to be taken into
consideration their involved process of reasoning； and the unexpectedly
different standards which they apply to every subject。
At the house of the Maidens Blank； when the evening was not spent in
listening to melodious voices and the harmony of stringed woods； it was
usual to take part in sit…round games of various kinds。 （And while it is on
his brush this person would say with commendable pride that a well…
trained musician among us can extort more sound from a hollow wooden
pig； costing only a few cash； than the most skilful here ever attain on their
largest instrumenta highly…lacquered coffin on legs； filled with bells and
hidden springs； and frequently sold for a thousand taels。）
Upon a certain evening； at the conclusion of one sit…round game which
involved abrupt music； a barrier of chairs； and the exhilarating possibility
of being sat upon by the young and vivacious in their zeal； a person of the
company turned suddenly to the one who is communicating with you and
said enticingly； 〃Why did Birdcage Walk？〃
Not judging from his expression that this was other than a polite
inquiry on a matter which disturbed his repose； I was replying that the
manifestation was undoubtedly the work of a vexatious demon which had
taken up its abode in the article referred to； when another； by my side；
cried aloud； 〃Because it envied Queen Anne's Gate〃； and without a pause
cast back the question； 〃Who carved The Poultry？〃
In spite of the apparent simplicity of the demand it was received by all
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in an attitude of complicated doubt； and this person was considering
whether he might not acquire distinction by replying that such an office
fell by custom to the lot of the more austere Maiden Blank； when the very
inadequate reply； 〃Mark Lane with St。 Mary's Axe；〃 was received with
applause and some observations in a half…tone regarding the identity of the
fowl。
By the laws of the sit…round games the one who had last spoken now
proclaimed himself； demanding to know； 〃Why did Battersea Rise？〃 but
the involvement was evidently superficial； for the maiden at whose
memory this one's organs still vibrate ignobly at once replied； 〃Because it
thought Clapham Common；〃 in turn inquiring； 〃What made the Marble
Arch？〃
Although I would have willingly sacrificed to an indefinite extent to be
furnished with the preconcerted watchword； so that I might have enlarged
myself in the eyes of this consecrated being's unapproachable esteem； I
had already decided that the competition was too intangible for one whose
thoughts lay in well…defined parallel lines； and it fell to another to reply；
〃To hear Salisbury Court。〃
This； O my broad…minded ancestor of the first degreean aimless
challenge coupled with the name of one recognisable spot； replied to by