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the decameron(十日谈)-第150部分

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looked rather like a Tinker; then any Officer in authority。 This
hansome man (among the rest) was deputed to heare criminall causes。
And; as often it happeneth; that Citizens; although no businesse
inviteth them to Judiciall Courts; yet they still resort thither;
sometimes accidentally: So it fortuned; that Maso times del Saggio;
being one morning in search of an especiall friend; went to the
Court…house; and being there; observed in what manner Messer
Niccolao was seated; who looking like some strange Fowle; lately
come forth of a farre Countrey; he began to survay him the more
seriously; even from the head to the foot; as we use to say。
 And albeit he saw his Gowne furred with Miniver; as also the hood
about his necke; a Penne and Inkehorne hanging at his girdle; and
one skirt of his Garment longer then the other; with more misshapen
sights about him; farre unfitting for a man of so civill profession:
yet he spyed one errour extraordinary; the most notable (in his
opinion) that ever he had seene before。 Namely; a paultry paire of
Breeches; wickedly made; and worse worne; hanging downe lowe as
halfe his legge; even as he sate upon the Bench; yet cut so
sparingly of the Cloath; that they gaped wide open before; as a
wheele…barrow might have full entrance allowed it。 This strange
sight was so pleasing to him; as leaving off further search of his
friend; and scorning to have such a spectacle alone by himselfe: hee
went upon another Inquisition; Namely; for two other merry Lads like
hirnselfe; the one being called Ribi; and the other Matteuzzo; men
of the same mirth…full disposition as he was; and therefore the fitter
for his Company。
  After he had met with them; these were his salutations: My honest
Boyes; if ever you did me any kindnesse; declare it more effectually
now; in accompanying me to the Court…house; where you shall behold
such a singular spectacle; as (I am sure) you never yet saw the
like。 Forthwith they went along altogether; and being come to the
Courthouse; he shewed them the Judges hansome paire of Breeches;
hanging down in such base and beastly manner; that (being as yet farre
off from the Bench) their hearts did ake with extreamity of
laughter。 But when they came neere to the seat whereon Messer Niccolao
sate; they plainely perceived; that it was very easie to be crept
under; and withall; that the board whereon he set his feet; was rotten
and broken; so that it was no difficult matter; to reach it; and
pull it downe as a man pleased; and let him fall bare Breecht to the
ground。 Cheare up your spirits (my hearts) quoth Maso; and if your
longing be like to mine; we will have yonder Breeches a good deale
lower; for I see how it may be easily done。
 Laying their heads together; plotting and contriving severall
wayes; which might be the likelyest to; compasse their intent: each of
them had his peculiar appointment; to undertake the businesse
without fayling and it was to be performed the next morning。 At the
houre assigned; they met there againe; and finding the Court well
filled with people; the Plaintiffes and Defendants earnestly pleading:
Matteuzzo (before any body could descry him) was cunningly crept under
the Bench; and lay close by the board whereon the Judge placed his
feete。 Then stept in Maso on the right hand of Messer Niccolao; and
tooke fast hold on his Gowne before; the like did Ribi on the left
hand; in all respects answerable to the other。 Oh my Lord Judge (cryed
Maso out aloud) I humbly intreat you for charities sake; before this
pilfering knave escape away from hence; that I may have justice
against him; for stealing my drawing…over stockeings; which he stoutly
denyeth; yet mine owne eyes beheld the deed; it being now not above
fifteene dayes since; when first I bought them for mine owne use。
  Worthy Lord Judge (cryed Ribi; on the other side) doe not beleeve
what he saith; for he is a paltry lying fellow; and because hee knew I
came hither to make my complaint for a Male or Cloakebag which he
stole from me: hee urgeth this occasion for a paire of drawing
Stockeings; which he delivered me with his owne hands。 If your
Lordship will not credit me; I can produce as witnesses; Trecco the
Shoemaker; with Monna Grassa the Souse…seller; and he that sweepes the
Church of Santa Maria a Verzaia; who saw him when he came posting
hither。 Maso haling and tugging the Judge by the sleeve; would not
suffer him to heare Ribi; but cryed out still for justice against him;
as he did the like on the contrary side。
  During the time of this their clamourous contending; the Judge being
very willy willing to heare either party: Matteuzzo; upon a signe
received from the other; which was a word in Masoes pleading; laide
holde on the broken boord; as also on the Judges low…hanging Breech;
plucking at them both so strongly; that they fell downe immediately;
the Breeches being onely tyed but with one Poynt before。 He hearing
the boards breaking underneath him; and such maine pulling at his
Breeches; strove (as he sate) to make them fast before; but the
Poynt being broken; and Maso crying in his eare on the one side; as
Ribi did the like in the other; hee was at his wits end to defend
himselfe。 My Lord (quoth Maso) you may bee ashamed that you doe me not
justice; why will you not heare mee; but wholly lend your eare to mine
Adversary? My Lord (said Ribi) never was Libell preferd into this
Court; of such a paltry trifling matter; and therefore I must; and
will have Justice。
  By this time the Judge was dismounted from the Bench; and stood on
the ground; with his slovenly Breeches hanging about his heeles:
Matteuzzo being cunningly stolne away; and undiscovered by any body。
Ribi; thinking he had shamed the Judge sufficiently; went away;
protesting; that he would declare his cause in the hearing of a
wiser Judge。 And Maso forbearing to tugge his Gowne any longer; in his
departing; said。 Fare you well Sir; you are not worthy to be a
Magistrate; if you have no more regard of your honour and honesty; but
will put off poore mens suites at your pleasure。 So both went severall
wayes; and soone were gone out of publike view。
  The worshipfull Judge Messer Niccolao stood all this while on the
ground; and; in presence of all the beholders; trussed up his
Breeches; as if…hee were new risen out of his bed: when better
bethinking himselfe on the matters indifference; he called for the two
men; who contended for the drawing stockings and the Cloake…bag; but
no one could tell what was become of them。 Whereupon; he rapt out a
kinde of Judges oath; saying: I will know whether it be Law or no
heere in Florence; to make a Judge sit bare Breecht on the Bench of
Justice; and in the hearing of criminall Causes; whereat the chiefe
Potestate; and all the standers by laughed heartily。
  Within fewe dayes after; he was informed by some of his especiall
Friends; that this had never happened to him; but onely to testifie;
how understanding the Florentines are; in their ancient
constitutions and customes; to embrace; love and honour; honest;
discreet worthy Judges and Magistrates; Whereas on the contrary;
they as much condemne miserable knaves; fooles; and dolts; who never
merit to have any better entertainment。 Wherefore; it would be best
for him; to make no more enquiry after the parties; lest a worse
inconvenience should happen to him。




                     THE EIGHT DAY; THE SIXT NOVELL

    WHEREIN IS DECLARED; HOW EASILY A PLAINE AND SIMPLE MAN MAY BE
         MADE A FOOLE; WHEN HE DEALETH WITH CRAFTY COMPANIONS。

  Bruno and Buffalmaco; did steale a young Brawne from Calandrino; and
for his recovery thereof; they used a kinde of pretended
conjuration; with Pilles made of Ginger and strong Malmesey。 But
instead of this application; they on; they gave him two Pilles of a
Dogges Dates; or Dowsets; confected in Alloes; which he received
each after the other by meanes whereof they made him beleeve; that hee
had robde himselfe。 And for feare they should report this theft to his
Wife; they made him to goe buy another Brawne。

  Philostratus had no sooner concluded his Novell; and the whole
Assembly laughed Madame thereat: but the Queen gave command to
Madame Philomena; that shee should follow next in order; whereupon
thus shee began。 Worthy Ladies; as Philostratus; by calling to memorie
the name of Maso del Saggio; hath contented you with another merry
Novell concerning him: In the same manner must I intreat you; to
remember once againe Calandrino and his subtle by a pretty tale
which I meane to tell ow; and in what manner they were revenged on
him; for going to seeke the invisible Stone。
  Needlesse were any fresh relation to you; what manner of people
those three men were; Calandrino; Bruno; and Buffalmaco; because
already you have had sufficient understanding of them。 And
therefore; as an induction to my discourse; I must tell you; that
Calandrino had a small Country…house; in a Village some…what neere
to Florence; which came to him by the marriage of his Wife。 Amon other
Cattle and Poultry; which he kept there in store; hee had a young
Boare readie fatted for Brawne; whereof yearly he used to kill one for
his owne p
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