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conditions。 For this discovery will disarm her of all defence； and
leave her entirely at your mercynay； she must ever after be in awe
of you。
MEL。 Let me adore thee； my better genius！ By heav'n I think it is
not in the power of fate to disappoint my hopesmy hopes？ My
certainty！
MASK。 Well； I'll meet you here； within a quarter of eight； and give
you notice。
MEL。 Good fortune ever go along with thee。
SCENE V。
MELLEFONT； CARELESS。
CARE。 Mellefont； get out o' th' way； my Lady Plyant's coming； and I
shall never succeed while thou art in sight。 Though she begins to
tack about； but I made love a great while to no purpose。
MEL。 Why； what's the matter？ She's convinced that I don't care for
her。
CARE。 I can't get an answer from her； that does not begin with her
honour； or her virtue； her religion； or some such cant。 Then she
has told me the whole history of Sir Paul's nine years courtship；
how he has lain for whole nights together upon the stairs before her
chamber…door； and that the first favour he received from her was a
piece of an old scarlet petticoat for a stomacher； which since the
day of his marriage he has out of a piece of gallantry converted
into a night…cap； and wears it still with much solemnity on his
anniversary wedding…night。
MEL。 That I have seen； with the ceremony thereunto belonging。 For
on that night he creeps in at the bed's feet like a gulled bassa
that has married a relation of the Grand Signior； and that night he
has his arms at liberty。 Did not she tell you at what a distance
she keeps him？ He has confessed to me that； but at some certain
times； that is； I suppose； when she apprehends being with child； he
never has the privilege of using the familiarity of a husband with a
wife。 He was once given to scrambling with his hands； and sprawling
in his sleep； and ever since she has him swaddled up in blankets；
and his hands and feet swathed down； and so put to bed； and there he
lies with a great beard； like a Russian bear upon a drift of snow。
You are very great with him； I wonder he never told you his
grievances： he will； I warrant you。
CARE。 Excessively foolish！ But that which gives me most hopes of
her is her telling me of the many temptations she has resisted。
MEL。 Nay； then you have her； for a woman's bragging to a man that
she has overcome temptations is an argument that they were weakly
offered； and a challenge to him to engage her more irresistibly。
'Tis only an enhancing the price of the commodity； by telling you
how many customers have underbid her。
CARE。 Nay； I don't despair。 But still she has a grudging to you。
I talked to her t'other night at my Lord Froth's masquerade； when
I'm satisfied she knew me； and I had no reason to complain of my
reception； but I find women are not the same bare…faced and in
masks； and a vizor disguises their inclinations as much as their
faces。
MEL。 'Tis a mistake； for women may most properly be said to be
unmasked when they wear vizors； for that secures them from blushing
and being out of countenance； and next to being in the dark； or
alone； they are most truly themselves in a vizor mask。 Here they
come： I'll leave you。 Ply her close； and by and by clap a BILLET
DOUX into her hand； for a woman never thinks a man truly in love
with her； till he has been fool enough to think of her out of her
sight； and to lose so much time as to write to her。
SCENE VI。
CARELESS； SIR PAUL； and LADY PLYANT。
SIR PAUL。 Shan't we disturb your meditation； Mr。 Careless？ You
would be private？
CARE。 You bring that along with you； Sir Paul； that shall be always
welcome to my privacy。
SIR PAUL。 O sweet sir； you load your humble servants； both me and
my wife； with continual favours。
LADY PLYANT。 Sir Paul； what a phrase was there？ You will be making
answers； and taking that upon you which ought to lie upon me。 That
you should have so little breeding to think Mr。 Careless did not
apply himself to me。 Pray what have you to entertain anybody's
privacy？ I swear and declare in the face of the world I'm ready to
blush for your ignorance。
SIR PAUL。 I acquiesce； my lady； but don't snub so loud。 ＇Aside to
her。＇
LADY PLYANT。 Mr。 Careless； if a person that is wholly illiterate
might be supposed to be capable of being qualified to make a
suitable return to those obligations； which you are pleased to
confer upon one that is wholly incapable of being qualified in all
those circumstances； I'm sure I should rather attempt it than
anything in the world； ＇Courtesies＇ for I'm sure there's nothing in
the world that I would rather。 ＇Courtesies＇ But I know Mr。
Careless is so great a critic； and so fine a gentleman； that it is
impossible for me …
CARE。 O heavens！ madam； you confound me。
SIR PAUL。 Gads…bud； she's a fine person。
LADY PLYANT。 O Lord！ sir； pardon me； we women have not those
advantages； I know my imperfections。 But at the same time you must
give me leave to declare in the face of the world that nobody is
more sensible of favours and things； for with the reserve of my
honour I assure you； Mr。 Careless； I don't know anything in the
world I would refuse to a person so meritorious。 You'll pardon my
want of expression。
CARE。 O； your ladyship is abounding in all excellence； particularly
that of phrase。
LADY PLYANT。 You are so obliging； sir。
CARE。 Your ladyship is so charming。
SIR PAUL。 So； now； now； now； my lady。
LADY PLYANT。 So well bred。
CARE。 So surprising。
LADY PLYANT。 So well dressed； so BONNE MINE； so eloquent； so
unaffected； so easy； so free； so particular； so agreeable。
SIR PAUL。 Ay； so； so； there。
CARE。 O Lord； I beseech you madam； don't。
LADY PLYANT。 So gay； so graceful； so good teeth； so fine shape； so
fine limbs； so fine linen； and I don't doubt but you have a very
good skin； sir；
CARE。 For heaven's sake； madam； I'm quite out of countenance。
SIR PAUL。 And my lady's quite out of breath； or else you should
hearGads…bud； you may talk of my Lady Froth。
CARE。 O fie； fie； not to be named of a day。 My Lady Froth is very
well in her accomplishments。 But it is when my Lady Plyant is not
thought of。 If that can ever be。
LADY PLYANT。 O； you overcome me。 That is so excessive。
SIR PAUL。 Nay； I swear and vow that was pretty。
CARE。 O； Sir Paul； you are the happiest man alive。 Such a lady！
that is the envy of her own sex； and the admiration of ours。
SIR PAUL。 Your humble servant。 I am； I thank heaven； in a fine way
of living； as I may say； peacefully and happily； and I think need
not envy any of my neighbours； blessed be providence。 Ay； truly；
Mr。 Careless； my lady is a great blessing； a fine； discreet； well…
spoken woman as you shall see； if it becomes me to say so； and we
live very comfortably together； she is a little hasty sometimes； and
so am I； but mine's soon over； and then I'm so sorry。O Mr。
Careless； if it were not for one thing …
SCENE VII。
CARELESS； SIR PAUL； LADY PLYANT； BOY with a letter。
LADY PLYANT。 How often have you been told of that； you jackanapes？
SIR PAUL。 Gad so； gad's…bud。 Tim； carry it to my lady； you should
have carried it to my lady first。
BOY。 'Tis directed to your worship。
SIR PAUL。 Well； well； my lady reads all letters first。 Child； do
so no more； d'ye hear； Tim。
BOY。 No； and please you。
SCENE VIII。
CARELESS； SIR PAUL； LADY PLYANT。
SIR PAUL。 A humour of my wife's： you know women have little
fancies。 But as I was telling you； Mr。 Careless； if it were not for
one thing； I should think myself the happiest man in the world；
indeed that touches me near； very near。
CARE。 What can that be； Sir Paul？
SIR PAUL。 Why； I have； I thank heaven； a very plentiful fortune； a
good estate in the country； some houses in town； and some money； a
pretty tolerable personal estate； and it is a great grief to me；
indeed it is； Mr。 Careless； that I have not a son to inherit this。
'Tis true I have a daughter； and a fine dutiful child she is； though
I say it； blessed be providence I may say； for indeed； Mr。 Careless；
I am mightily beholden to providence。 A poor unworthy sinner。 But
if I had a son！ Ah； that's my affliction； and my only affliction；
indeed I cannot refrain tears when it comes in my mind。 ＇Cries。＇
CARE。 Why； methinks that might be easily remediedmy lady's a fine
likely woman …
SIR PAUL。 Oh； a fine likely woman as you shall see in a summer's
day。 Indeed she is； Mr。 Careless； in all respects。
CARE。 And I should not have taken you to have been so old …
SIR PAUL。 Alas； that's not it； Mr。 Careless； ah！ that's not it； no；
no； you shoot wide of the mark a mile； indeed you do； that's not it；
Mr。 Careless； no； no； that's not it。