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IS SHAKESPEARE DEAD？
（from My Autobiography）
Scattered here and there through the stacks of unpublished
manuscript which constitute this formidable Autobiography and
Diary of mine； certain chapters will in some distant future be
found which deal with 〃Claimants〃claimants historically
notorious： Satan； Claimant； the Golden Calf； Claimant； the
Veiled Prophet of Khorassan； Claimant； Louis XVII。； Claimant；
William Shakespeare； Claimant； Arthur Orton； Claimant； Mary Baker
G。 Eddy； Claimantand the rest of them。 Eminent Claimants；
successful Claimants； defeated Claimants； royal Claimants； pleb
Claimants； showy Claimants； shabby Claimants； revered Claimants；
despised Claimants； twinkle star…like here and there and yonder
through the mists of history and legend and traditionand； oh；
all the darling tribe are clothed in mystery and romance； and we
read about them with deep interest and discuss them with loving
sympathy or with rancorous resentment； according to which side we
hitch ourselves to。 It has always been so with the human race。
There was never a Claimant that couldn't get a hearing； nor one
that couldn't accumulate a rapturous following； no matter how
flimsy and apparently unauthentic his claim might be。 Arthur
Orton's claim that he was the lost Tichborne baronet come to life
again was as flimsy as Mrs。 Eddy's that she wrote SCIENCE AND
HEALTH from the direct dictation of the Deity； yet in England
nearly forty years ago Orton had a huge army of devotees and
incorrigible adherents； many of whom remained stubbornly
unconvinced after their fat god had been proven an impostor and
jailed as a perjurer； and today Mrs。 Eddy's following is not only
immense； but is daily augmenting in numbers and enthusiasm。
Orton had many fine and educated minds among his adherents； Mrs。
Eddy has had the like among hers from the beginning。 Her Church
is as well equipped in those particulars as is any other Church。
Claimants can always count upon a following； it doesn't matter
who they are； nor what they claim； nor whether they come with
documents or without。 It was always so。 Down out of the long…
vanished past； across the abyss of the ages； if you listen； you
can still hear the believing multitudes shouting for Perkin
Warbeck and Lambert Simnel。
A friend has sent me a new book； from EnglandTHE
SHAKESPEARE PROBLEM RESTATEDwell restated and closely reasoned；
and my fifty years' interest in that matterasleep for the last
three yearsis excited once more。 It is an interest which was
born of Delia Bacon's bookaway back in the ancient day1857；
or maybe 1856。 About a year later my pilot…master； Bixby；
transferred me from his own steamboat to the PENNSYLVANIA； and
placed me under the orders and instructions of George Ealerdead
now； these many； many years。 I steered for him a good many
monthsas was the humble duty of the pilot…apprentice： stood a
daylight watch and spun the wheel under the severe
superintendence and correction of the master。 He was a prime
chess…player and an idolater of Shakespeare。 He would play chess
with anybody； even with me； and it cost his official dignity
something to do that。 Alsoquite uninvitedhe would read
Shakespeare to me； not just casually； but by the hour； when it
was his watch and I was steering。 He read well； but not
profitably for me； because he constantly injected commands into
the text。 That broke it all up； mixed it all up； tangled it all
upto that degree； in fact； that if we were in a risky and
difficult piece of river an ignorant person couldn't have told；
sometimes； which observations were Shakespeare's and which were
Ealer's。 For instance：
What man dare； _I_ dare！
Approach thou WHAT are you laying in the leads for？ what a
hell of an idea！ like the rugged ease her off a little； ease her
off！ rugged Russian bear； the armed rhinoceros or the THERE she
goes！ meet her； meet her！ didn't you KNOW she'd smell the reef if
you crowded in like that？ Hyrcan tiger； take any ship but that
and my firm nerves she'll be in the WOODS the first you know！
stop he starboard！ come ahead strong on the larboard！ back the
starboard！ 。 。 。 NOW then； you're all right； come ahead on the
starboard； straighten up and go 'long； never tremble： or be
alive again； and dare me to the desert DAMNATION can't you keep
away from that greasy water？ pull her down！ snatch her！ snatch
her baldheaded！ with thy sword； if trembling I inhabit then； lay
in the leads！no； only with the starboard one； leave the other
alone； protest me the baby of a girl。 Hence horrible shadow！
eight bellsthat watchman's asleep again； I reckon； go down and
call Brown yourself； unreal mockery； hence！
He certainly was a good reader； and splendidly thrilling and
stormy and tragic； but it was a damage to me； because I have
never since been able to read Shakespeare in a calm and sane way。
I cannot rid it of his explosive interlardings； they break in
everywhere with their irrelevant； 〃What in hell are you up to
NOW！ pull her down！ more！ MORE！there now； steady as you go；〃
and the other disorganizing interruptions that were always
leaping from his mouth。 When I read Shakespeare now I can hear
them as plainly as I did in that long…departed timefifty…one
years ago。 I never regarded Ealer's readings as educational。
Indeed； they were a detriment to me。
His contributions to the text seldom improved it； but
barring that detail he was a good reader； I can say that much for
him。 He did not use the book； and did not need to； he knew his
Shakespeare as well as Euclid ever knew his multiplication table。
Did he have something to saythis Shakespeare…adoring
Mississippi pilotanent Delia Bacon's book？
Yes。 And he said it； said it all the time； for monthsin
the morning watch； the middle watch； and dog watch； and probably
kept it going in his sleep。 He bought the literature of the
dispute as fast as it appeared； and we discussed it all through
thirteen hundred miles of river four times traversed in every
thirty…five daysthe time required by that swift boat to achieve
two round trips。 We discussed； and discussed； and discussed； and
disputed and disputed and disputed； at any rate； HE did； and I
got in a word now and then when he slipped a cog and there was a
vacancy。 He did his arguing with heat； with energy； with
violence； and I did mine with the reverse and moderation of a
subordinate who does not like to be flung out of a pilot…house
and is perched forty feet above the water。 He was fiercely loyal
to Shakespeare and cordially scornful of Bacon and of all the
pretensions of the Baconians。 So was Iat first。 And at first
he was glad that that was my attitude。 There were even
indications that he admired it； indications dimmed； it is true；
by the distance that lay between the lofty boss…pilotical
altitude and my lowly one； yet perceptible to me； perceptible；
and translatable into a complimentcompliment coming down from
about the snow…line and not well thawed in the transit； and not
likely to set anything afire； not even a cub…pilot's self…
conceit； still a detectable complement； and precious。
Naturally it flattered me into being more loyal to Shakespeare
if possiblethan I was before； and more prejudiced against
Baconif possiblethat I was before。 And so we discussed
and discussed； both on the same side； and were happy。
For a while。 Only for a while。 Only for a very little while；
a very； very； very little while。 Then the atmosphere began
to change； began to cool off。
A brighter person would have seen what the trouble was；
earlier than I did； perhaps； but I saw it early enough for all
practical purposes。 You see； he was of an argumentative
disposition。 Therefore it took him but a little time to get
tired of arguing with a person who agreed with everything he said
and consequently never furnished him a provocative to flare up
and show what he could do when it came to clear； cold； hard；
rose…cut； hundred…faceted； diamond…flashing REASONING。 That was
his name for it。 It has been applied since； with complacency； as
many as several times； in the Bacon…Shakespeare scuffle。 On the
Shakespeare side。
Then the thing happened which has happened to more persons
than to me when principle and personal interest found themselves
in opposition to each other and a choice had to be made： I let
principle go； and went over to the other side。 Not the entire
way； but far enough to answer the requirements of the case。 That
is to say； I took this attitudeto wit； I only BELIEVED Bacon
wrote Shakespeare； whereas I KNEW Shakespeare didn't。 Ealer was
satisfied with that； and the war broke loose。 Study； practice；
experience in handling my end of the matter presently enabled me
to take my new position almost seriously； a little bit later；
utterly seriously； a little later still； lovingly； gratefully；
devotedly； fina