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ten days ago had he elated her by his pointed regard—had he even
confused her by his too significant reference！ And now—what had
she done； or what had she omitted to do； to merit such a change？
The only offence against him of which she could accuse herself
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had been such as was scarcely possible to reach his knowledge。
Henry and her own heart only were privy to the shocking
suspicions which she had so idly entertained； and equally safe did
she believe her secret with each。 Designedly； at least； Henry could
not have betrayed her。 If； indeed； by any strange mischance his
father should have gained intelligence of what she had dared to
think and look for； of her causeless fancies and injurious
examinations； she could not wonder at any degree of his
indignation。 If aware of her having viewed him as a murderer； she
could not wonder at his even turning her from his house。 But a
justification so full of torture to herself； she trusted； would not be
in his power。
Anxious as were all her conjectures on this point； it was not；
however； the one on which she dwelt most。 There was a thought
yet nearer； a more prevailing； more impetuous concern。 How
Henry would think； and feel； and look； when he returned on the
morrow to Northanger and heard of her being gone； was a
question of force and interest to rise over every other； to be never
ceasing； alternately irritating and soothing； it sometimes
suggested the dread of his calm acquiescence； and at others was
answered by the sweetest confidence in his regret and resentment。
To the General； of course； he would not dare to speak； but to
Eleanor—what might he not say to Eleanor about her？
In this unceasing recurrence of doubts and inquiries； on any
one article of which her mind was incapable of more than
momentary repose； the hours passed away； and her journey
advanced much faster than she looked for。 The pressing anxieties
of thought； which prevented her from noticing anything before
her； when once beyond the neighbourhood of Woodston； saved her
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at the same time from watching her progress； and though no
object on the road could engage a moment’s attention； she found
no stage of it tedious。 From this； she was preserved too by another
cause； by feeling no eagerness for her journey’s conclusion； for to
return in such a manner to Fullerton was almost to destroy the
pleasure of a meeting with those she loved best； even after an
absence such as hers—an eleven weeks’ absence。 What had she to
say that would not humble herself and pain her family； that would
not increase her own grief by the confession of it； extend an
useless resentment； and perhaps involve the innocent with the
guilty in undistinguishing ill…will？ She could never do justice to
Henry and Eleanor’s merit； she felt it too strongly for expression；
and should a dislike be taken against them； should they be thought
of unfavourably； on their father’s account； it would cut her to the
heart。
With these feelings； she rather dreaded than sought for the first
view of that well…known spire which would announce her within
twenty miles of home。 Salisbury she had known to be her point on
leaving Northanger； but after the first stage she had been indebted
to the post…masters for the names of the places which were then to
conduct her to it； so great had been her ignorance of her route。
She met with nothing； however； to distress or frighten her。 Her
youth； civil manners； and liberal pay procured her all the attention
that a traveller like herself could require； and stopping only to
change horses； she travelled on for about eleven hours without
accident or alarm； and between six and seven o’clock in the
evening found herself entering Fullerton。
A heroine returning； at the close of her career； to her native
village； in all the triumph of recovered reputation； and all the
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dignity of a countess； with a long train of noble relations in their
several phaetons； and three waiting…maids in a travelling chaise
and four； behind her； is an event on which the pen of the contriver
may well delight to dwell； it gives credit to every conclusion； and
the author must share in the glory she so liberally bestows。—But
my affair is widely different； I bring back my heroine to her home
in solitude and disgrace； and no sweet elation of spirits can lead
me into minuteness。 A heroine in a hack post…chaise is such a blow
upon sentiment； as no attempt at grandeur or pathos can
withstand。 Swiftly therefore shall her post…boy drive through the
village； amid the gaze of Sunday groups； and speedy shall be her
descent from it。
But； whatever might be the distress of Catherine’s mind； as she
thus advanced towards the parsonage； and whatever the
humiliation of her biographer in relating it； she was preparing
enjoyment of no every…day nature for those to whom she went；
first； in the appearance of her carriage—and secondly； in herself。
The chaise of a traveller being a rare sight in Fullerton； the whole
family were immediately at the window； and to have it stop at the
sweep…gate was a pleasure to brighten every eye and occupy every
fancy—a pleasure quite unlooked for by all but the two youngest
children； a boy and girl of six and four years old； who expected a
brother or sister in every carriage。 Happy the glance that first
distinguished Catherine！—Happy the voice that proclaimed the
discovery！—But whether such happiness were the lawful property
of George or Harriet could never be exactly understood。
Her father； mother； Sarah； George； and Harriet； all assembled
at the door to welcome her with affectionate eagerness； was a sight
to awaken the best feelings of Catherine’s heart； and in the
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embrace of each； as she stepped from the carriage； she found
herself soothed beyond any thing that she had believed possible。
So surrounded； so caressed； she was even happy！ In the joyfulness
of family love every thing for a short time was subdued； and the
pleasure of seeing her； leaving them at first little leisure for calm
curiosity； they were all seated round the tea…table； which Mrs。
Morland had hurried for the comfort of the poor traveller； whose
pale and jaded looks soon caught her notice； before any inquiry so
direct as to demand a positive answer was addressed to her。
Reluctantly； and with much hesitation； did she then begin what
might perhaps； at the end of half an hour； be termed； by the
courtesy of her hearers； an explanation； but scarcely； within that
time； could they at all discover the cause； or collect the particulars；
of her sudden return。 They were far from being an irritable race；
far from any quickness in catching； or bitterness in resenting
affronts：—but here； when the whole was unfolded； was an insult
not to be overlooked； nor； for the first half hour； to be easily
pardoned。 Without suffering any romantic alarm； in the
consideration of their daughter’s long a