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“And why cannot he afford it？”
“Because he has not money enough。”
“And whose fault is that？”
“Nobody’s； that I know of。” Thorpe then said something in the
loud； incoherent way to which he had often recourse； about its
being a d— thing to be miserly； and that if people who rolled in
money could not afford things； he did not know who could； which
Catherine did not even endeavour to understand。 Disappointed of
what was to have been the consolation for her first
disappointment； she was less and less disposed either to be
agreeable herself or to find her companion so； and they returned
to Pulteney…street without her speaking twenty words。
As she entered the house； the footman told her that a
gentleman and lady had called and inquired for her a few minutes
after her setting off； that； when he told them she was gone out with
Mr。 Thorpe； the lady had asked whether any message had been
left for her； and on his saying no； had felt for a card； but said she
had none about her； and went away。 Pondering over these heart…
rending tidings； Catherine walked slowly upstairs。 At the head of
them she was met by Mr。 Allen； who； on hearing the reason of
their speedy return； said； “I am glad your brother had so much
sense； I am glad you are come back。 It was a strange； wild
scheme。”
They all spent the evening together at Thorpe’s。 Catherine was
disturbed and out of spirits； but Isabella seemed to find a pool of
commerce； in the fate of which she shared； by private partnership
with Morland； a very good equivalent for the quiet and country air
of an inn at Clifton。 Her satisfaction； too； in not being at the Lower
Rooms was spoken more than once。 “How I pity the poor
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creatures that are going there！ How glad I am that I am not
amongst them！ I wonder whether it will be a full ball or not！ They
have not begun dancing yet。 I would not be there for all the world。
It is so delightful to have an evening now and then to oneself。 I
dare say it will not be a very good ball。 I know the Mitchells will
not be there。 I am sure I pity every body that is。 But I dare say； Mr。
Morland； you long to be at it； do not you？ I am sure you do。 Well；
pray do not let anybody here be a restraint on you。 I dare say we
could do very well without you； but you men think yourselves of
such consequence。”
Catherine could almost have accused Isabella of being wanting
in tenderness towards herself and her sorrows； so very little did
they appear to dwell on her mind； and so very inadequate was the
comfort she offered。 “Do not be so dull； my dearest creature；” she
whispered。 “You will quite break my heart。 It was amazingly
shocking； to be sure； but the Tilneys were entirely to blame。 Why
were not they more punctual？ It was dirty； indeed； but what did
that signify？ I am sure John and I should not have minded it。 I
never mind going through anything； where a friend is concerned；
that is my disposition； and John is just the same； he has amazing
strong feelings。 Good heavens！ What a delightful hand you have
got！ Kings； I vow！ I never was so happy in my life！ I would fifty
times rather you should have them than myself。”
And now I may dismiss my heroine to the sleepless couch；
which is the true heroine’s portion； to a pillow strewed with thorns
and wet with tears。 And lucky may she think herself； if she get
another good night’s rest in the course of the next three months。
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CHAPTER XII
rs。 Allen；” said Catherine the next morning； “will
there be any harm in my calling on Miss Tilney to…
“M
day？ I shall not be easy till I have explained every
thing。”
“Go； by all means； my dear； only put on a white gown； Miss
Tilney always wears white。”
Catherine cheerfully complied； and being properly equipped；
was more impatient than ever to be at the Pump…room； that she
might inform herself of General Tilneys lodgings； for though she
believed they were in Milsom…street； she was not certain of the
house； and Mrs。 Allen’s wavering convictions only made it more
doubtful。 To Milsom…street she was directed； and having made
herself perfect in the number； hastened away with eager steps and
a beating heart to pay her visit； explain her conduct； and be
forgiven； tripping lightly through the church…yard； and resolutely
turning away her eyes； that she might not be obliged to see her
beloved Isabella and her dear family； who； she had reason to
believe； were in a shop hard by。 She reached the house without
any impediment； looked at the number； knocked at the door； and
inquired for Miss Tilney。 The man believed Miss Tilney to be at
home； but was not quite certain。 Would she be pleased to send up
her name？ She gave her card。 In a few minutes the servant
returned； and with a look which did not quite confirm his words；
said he had been mistaken； for that Miss Tilney was walked out。
Catherine； with a blush of mortification； left the house。 She felt
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almost persuaded that Miss Tilney was at home； and too much
offended to admit her； and as she retired down the street； could
not withhold one glance at the drawing…room windows； in
expectation of seeing her there； but no one appeared at them。 At
the bottom of the street； however； she looked back again； and
then； not at a window； but issuing from the door； she saw Miss
Tilney herself。 She was followed by a gentleman； whom Catherine
believed to be her father； and they turned up towards Edgar’s…
buildings。 Catherine； in deep mortification； proceeded on her way。
She could almost be angry herself at such angry incivility； but she
checked the resentful sensation； she remembered her own
ignorance。 She knew not how such an offence as hers might be
classed by the laws of worldly politeness； to what a degree of
unforgivingness it might with propriety lead； nor to what rigours
of rudeness in return it might justly make her amenable。
Dejected and humbled； she had even some thoughts of not
going with the others to the theatre that night； but it must be
confessed that they were not of long continuance； for she soon
recollected； in the first place； that she was without any excuse for
staying at home； and； in the second； that it was a play she wanted
very much to see。 To the theatre accordingly they all went； no
Tilneys appeared to plague or please her； she feared that； amongst
the many perfections of the family； a fondness for plays was not to
be ranked； but perhaps it was because they were habituated to the
finer performances of the London stage； which she knew； on
Isabella’s authority； rendered every thing else of the kind “quite
horrid。” She was not deceived in her own expectation of pleasure；
the comedy so well suspended her care that no one； observing her
during the first four acts； would have supposed she had any
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