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〃An' I only 'ave this because I 'appened to make an odd shilling washin'
out； Lord lumme！ I don't know 'ow many pots。〃
〃No work at my own tryde for six weeks；〃 he said further； in reply to
my questions； 〃nothin' but odd jobs a blessed long wy between。〃
One meets with all sorts of adventures in coffee…house； and I shall not
soon forget a Cockney Amazon in a place near Trafalgar Square； to whom
I tendered a sovereign when paying my score。 （By the way； one is
supposed to pay before he begins to eat； and if he be poorly dressed he is
compelled to pay before he eats）。
The girl bit the gold piece between her teeth； rang it on the counter；
and then looked me and my rags witheringly up and down。
〃Where'd you find it？〃 she at length demanded。
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〃Some mug left it on the table when he went out； eh； don't you think？〃
I retorted。
〃Wot's yer gyme？〃 she queried； looking me calmly in the eyes。
〃I makes 'em；〃 quoth I。
She sniffed superciliously and gave me the change in small silver； and
I had my revenge by biting and ringing every piece of it。
〃I'll give you a ha'penny for another lump of sugar in the tea；〃 I said。
〃I'll see you in 'ell first；〃 came the retort courteous。 Also； she
amplified the retort courteous in divers vivid and unprintable ways。
I never had much talent for repartee； but she knocked silly what little I
had； and I gulped down my tea a beaten man； while she gloated after me
even as I passed out to the street。
While 300；000 people of London live in one…room tenements； and
900；000 are illegally and viciously housed； 38；000 more are registered as
living in common lodging…housesknown in the vernacular as 〃doss…
houses。〃 There are many kinds of doss…houses； but in one thing they are
all alike； from the filthy little ones to the monster big ones paying five per
cent。 and blatantly lauded by smug middle…class men who know but one
thing about them； and that one thing is their uninhabitableness。 By this I
do not mean that the roofs leak or the walls are draughty； but what I do
mean is that life in them is degrading and unwholesome。
〃The poor man's hotel；〃 they are often called； but the phrase is
caricature。 Not to possess a room to one's self； in which sometimes to sit
alone； to be forced out of bed willy…nilly； the first thing in the morning； to
engage and pay anew for a bed each night； and never to have any privacy；
surely is a mode of existence quite different from that of hotel life。
This must not be considered a sweeping condemnation of the big
private and municipal lodging…houses and working…men's homes。 Far
from it。 They have remedied many of the atrocities attendant upon the
irresponsible small doss…houses； and they give the workman more for his
money than he ever received before； but that does not make them as
habitable or wholesome as the dwelling…place of a man should be who
does his work in the world。
The little private doss…houses； as a rule； are unmitigated horrors。 I have
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slept in them； and I know； but let me pass them by and confine myself to
the bigger and better ones。 Not far from Middlesex Street； Whitechapel；
I entered such a house； a place inhabited almost entirely by working men。
The entrance was by way of a flight of steps descending from the side…
walk to what was properly the cellar of the building。 Here were two
large and gloomily lighted rooms； in which men cooked and ate。 I had
intended to do some cooking myself； but the smell of the place stole away
my appetite； or； rather； wrested it from me； so I contented myself with
watching other men cook and eat。
One workman； home from work； sat down opposite me at the rough
wooden table； and began his meal。 A handful of salt on the not over…
clean table constituted his butter。 Into it he dipped his bread； mouthful
by mouthful； and washed it down with tea from a big mug。 A piece of
fish completed his bill of fare。 He ate silently； looking neither to right
nor left nor across at me。 Here and there； at the various tables； other men
were eating； just as silently。 In the whole room there was hardly a note
of conversation。 A feeling of gloom pervaded the ill…lighted place。
Many of them sat and brooded over the crumbs of their repast； and made
me wonder； as Childe Roland wondered； what evil they had done that they
should be punished so。
From the kitchen came the sounds of more genial life； and I ventured
into the range where the men were cooking。 But the smell I had noticed
on entering was stronger here； and a rising nausea drove me into the street
for fresh air。
On my return I paid fivepence for a 〃cabin；〃 took my receipt for the
same in the form of a huge brass check； and went upstairs to the smoking…
room。 Here； a couple of small billiard tables and several checkerboards
were being used by young working…men； who waited in relays for their
turn at the games； while many men were sitting around； smoking； reading；
and mending their clothes。 The young men were hilarious； the old men
were gloomy。 In fact； there were two types of men； the cheerful and the
sodden or blue； and age seemed to determine the classification。
But no more than the two cellar rooms did this room convey the
remotest suggestion of home。 Certainly there could be nothing home…
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like about it to you and me； who know what home really is。 On the walls
were the most preposterous and insulting notices regulating the conduct of
the guests； and at ten o'clock the lights were put out； and nothing remained
but bed。 This was gained by descending again to the cellar； by
surrendering the brass check to a burly doorkeeper； and by climbing a long
flight of stairs into the upper regions。 I went to the top of the building
and down again； passing several floors filled with sleeping men。 The
〃cabins〃 were the best accommodation； each cabin allowing space for a
tiny bed and room alongside of it in which to undress。 The bedding was
clean； and with neither it nor the bed do I find any fault。 But there was
no privacy about it； no being alone。
To get an adequate idea of a floor filled with cabins； you have merely
to magnify a layer of the pasteboard pigeon…holes of an egg… crate till each
pigeon…hole is seven feet in height and otherwise properly dimensioned；
then place the magnified layer on the floor of a large； barnlike room； and
there you have it。 There are no ceilings to the pigeon…holes； the walls are
thin； and the snores from all the sleepers and every move and turn of your
nearer neighbours come plainly to your ears。 And this cabin is yours
only for a little while。 In the morning out you go。 You cannot put your
trunk in it； or come and go when you like； or lock the door behind you； or
anything of the sort。 In fact； there is no door at all； only a doorway。 If
you care to remain a guest in this poor man's hotel； you must put up with
all this； and with prison regulations which impress upon you constantly
that you are nobody； with little soul of your own and less to say about it。
Now I contend that the least a man who does his day's work should
have is a room to himself； where he can lock the door and be safe in his
possessions； where he can sit down and read by a window or look out；
where he can come and go whenever he wishes； where he can accumulate
a few personal belongings other than those he carries about with him on
his back and in his pockets； where he can hang up pictures of his mother；
sister； sweet…heart； ballet dancers； or bulldogs； as his heart listethin short；
one place of his own on the earth of which he can say： 〃This is mine； my
castle； the world stops at the