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their chief characteristic and which seems never to desert them； withal
they were cursing the country with lurid metaphors quite refreshing after a
month of unimaginative； monotonous Cockney swearing。 The Cockney
has one oath； and one oath only； the most indecent in the language； which
he uses on any and every occasion。 Far different is the luminous and
varied Western swearing； which runs to blasphemy rather than indecency。
And after all； since men will swear； I think I prefer blasphemy to
indecency； there is an audacity about it； an adventurousness and defiance
that is better than sheer filthiness。
There was one American tramp royal whom I found particularly
enjoyable。 I first noticed him on the street； asleep in a doorway； his head
on his knees； but a hat on his head that one does not meet this side of the
Western Ocean。 When the policeman routed him out； he got up slowly
and deliberately； looked at the policeman； yawned and stretched himself；
looked at the policeman again as much as to say he didn't know whether
he would or wouldn't； and then sauntered leisurely down the sidewalk。
At the outset I was sure of the hat； but this made me sure of the wearer of
the hat。
In the jam inside I found myself alongside of him； and we had quite a
chat。 He had been through Spain； Italy； Switzerland； and France； and had
accomplished the practically impossible feat of beating his way three
hundred miles on a French railway without being caught at the finish。
Where was I hanging out？ he asked。 And how did I manage for
〃kipping〃？which means sleeping。 Did I know the rounds yet？ He was
getting on； though the country was 〃horstyl〃 and the cities were 〃bum。〃
Fierce； wasn't it？ Couldn't 〃batter〃 （beg） anywhere without being
〃pinched。〃 But he wasn't going to quit it。 Buffalo Bill's Show was
coming over soon； and a man who could drive eight horses was sure of a
job any time。 These mugs over here didn't know beans about driving
anything more than a span。 What was the matter with me hanging on and
waiting for Buffalo Bill？ He was sure I could ring in somehow。
And so； after all； blood is thicker than water。 We were fellow…
countrymen and strangers in a strange land。 I had warmed to his battered
old hat at sight of it； and he was as solicitous for my welfare as if we were
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blood brothers。 We swapped all manner of useful information
concerning the country and the ways of its people； methods by which to
obtain food and shelter and what not； and we parted genuinely sorry at
having to say good…bye。
One thing particularly conspicuous in this crowd was the shortness of
stature。 I； who am but of medium height； looked over the heads of nine
out of ten。 The natives were all short； as were the foreign sailors。 There
were only five or six in the crowd who could be called fairly tall； and they
were Scandinavians and Americans。 The tallest man there； however； was
an exception。 He was an Englishman； though not a Londoner。
〃Candidate for the Life Guards；〃 I remarked to him。 〃You've hit it；
mate；〃 was his reply； 〃I've served my bit in that same； and the way things
are I'll be back at it before long。〃
For an hour we stood quietly in this packed courtyard。 Then the men
began to grow restless。 There was pushing and shoving forward； and a
mild hubbub of voices。 Nothing rough； however； nor violent； merely the
restlessness of weary and hungry men。 At this juncture forth came the
adjutant。 I did not like him。 His eyes were not good。 There was
nothing of the lowly Galilean about him； but a great deal of the centurion
who said： 〃For I am a man in authority； having soldiers under me； and I
say to this man； Go； and he goeth； and to another； Come； and he cometh；
and to my servant； Do this； and he doeth it。〃
Well； he looked at us in just that way； and those nearest to him quailed。
Then he lifted his voice。
〃Stop this 'ere； now； or I'll turn you the other wy an' march you out； an'
you'll get no breakfast。〃
I cannot convey by printed speech the insufferable way in which he
said this。 He seemed to me to revel in that he was a man in authority；
able to say to half a thousand ragged wretches； 〃you may eat or go hungry；
as I elect。〃
To deny us our breakfast after standing for hours！ It was an awful
threat； and the pitiful； abject silence which instantly fell attested its
awfulness。 And it was a cowardly threat。 We could not strike back； for
we were starving； and it is the way of the world that when one man feeds
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another he is that man's master。 But the centurionI mean the adjutant
was not satisfied。 In the dead silence he raised his voice again； and
repeated the threat； and amplified it。
At last we were permitted to enter the feasting hall； where we found
the 〃ticket men〃 washed but unfed。 All told； there must have been nearly
seven hundred of us who sat downnot to meat or bread； but to speech；
song； and prayer。 From all of which I am convinced that Tantalus suffers
in many guises this side of the infernal regions。 The adjutant made the
prayer； but I did not take note of it； being too engrossed with the massed
picture of misery before me。 But the speech ran something like this：
〃You will feast in Paradise。 No matter how you starve and suffer here；
you will feast in Paradise； that is； if you will follow the directions。〃 And
so forth and so forth。 A clever bit of propaganda； I took it； but rendered
of no avail for two reasons。 First； the men who received it were
unimaginative and materialistic； unaware of the existence of any Unseen；
and too inured to hell on earth to be frightened by hell to come。 And
second； weary and exhausted from the night's sleeplessness and hardship；
suffering from the long wait upon their feet； and faint from hunger； they
were yearning； not for salvation； but for grub。 The 〃soul…snatchers〃 （as
these men call all religious propagandists）； should study the physiological
basis of psychology a little； if they wish to make their efforts more
effective。
All in good time； about eleven o'clock； breakfast arrived。 It arrived；
not on plates； but in paper parcels。 I did not have all I wanted； and I am
sure that no man there had all he wanted； or half of what he wanted or
needed。 I gave part of my bread to the tramp royal who was waiting for
Buffalo Bill； and he was as ravenous at the end as he was in the beginning。
This is the breakfast： two slices of bread； one small piece of bread with
raisins in it and called 〃cake；〃 a wafer of cheese； and a mug of 〃water
bewitched。〃 Numbers of the men had been waiting since five o'clock for it；
while all of us had waited at least four hours； and in addition； we had been
herded like swine； packed like sardines； and treated like curs； and been
preached at； and sung to； and prayed for。 Nor was that all。
No sooner was breakfast over （and it was over almost as quickly as it
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takes to tell）； than the tired heads began to nod and droop； and in five
minutes half of us were sound asleep。 There were no signs of our being
dismissed； while there were unmistakable signs of preparation for a
meeting。 I looked at a small clock hanging on the wall。 It indicated
twenty…five minutes to twelve。 Heigh…ho； thought I； time is flying； and I
have yet to look for work。
〃I want to go；〃 I said to a couple of waking men near me。