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modification； the law of the slum。 But in upper and middle…class
circles the man is now the woman's servant。
I remember being present while a mother of my acquaintance was
instilling into the mind of her little son the advantages of being
born a man。 A little girl cousin was about to spend a week with him。
It was impressed upon him that if she showed a liking for any of his
toys； he was at once to give them up to her。
〃But why； mamma？〃 he demanded； evidently surprised。
〃Because； my dear； you are a little man。〃
Should she break them； he was not to smack her head or kick heras
his instinct might prompt him to do。 He was just to say：
〃Oh； it is of no consequence at all；〃 and to look as if he meant it。
＇Doctor says she is not to be bothered。＇
She was always to choose the gameto have the biggest apple。 There
was much more of a similar nature。 It was all because he was a
little man and she was a little woman。 At the end he looked up；
puzzled：
〃But don't she do anything； 'cos she's a little girl？〃
It was explained to him that she didn't。 By right of being born a
little girl she was exempt from all duty。
Woman nowadays is not taking any duty。 She objects to housekeeping；
she calls it domestic slavery； and feels she was intended for higher
things。 What higher things she does not condescend to explain。 One
or two wives of my acquaintance have persuaded their husbands that
these higher things are all…important。 The home has been given up。
In company with other strivers after higher things； they live now in
dismal barracks differing but little from a glorified Bloomsbury
lodging…house。 But they call them 〃Mansions〃 or 〃Courts；〃 and seem
proud of the address。 They are not bothered with servantswith
housekeeping。 The idea of the modern woman is that she is not to be
bothered with anything。 I remember the words with which one of these
ladies announced her departure from her bothering home。
〃Oh； well； I'm tired of trouble；〃 she confided to another lady； 〃so
I've made up my mind not to have any more of it。〃
Artemus Ward tells us of a man who had been in prison for twenty
years。 Suddenly a bright idea occurred to him； he opened the window
and got out。 Here have we poor； foolish mortals been imprisoned in
this troublesome world for Lord knows how many millions of years。 We
have got so used to trouble we thought there was no help for it。 We
have told ourselves that 〃Man is born to trouble as the sparks fly
upwards。〃 We imagined the only thing to be done was to bear it
philosophically。 Why did not this bright young creature come along
beforeshow us the way out。 All we had to do was to give up the
bothering home and the bothering servants； and go into a 〃Mansion〃 or
a 〃Court。〃
It seems that you leave trouble outsidein charge of the hall…
porter； one supposes。 He ties it up for you as the Commissionaire of
the Army and Navy Stores ties up your dog。 If you want it again； you
ask for it as you come out。 Small wonder that the 〃Court〃 and
〃Mansion〃 are growing in popularity every day。
＇That 〃Higher Life。〃＇
They have nothing to do now all day long； these soaring wives of whom
I am speaking。 They would scorn to sew on a shirt…button even。 Are
there not other womenof an inferior breedspecially fashioned by
Providence for the doing of such slavish tasks？ They have no more
bothers of any kind。 They are free to lead the higher life。 What I
am waiting for is a glimpse of the higher life。 One of them； it is
true； has taken up the violin。 Another of them is devoting her
emancipation to poker work。 A third is learning skirt…dancing。 Are
these the 〃higher things〃 for which women are claiming freedom from
all duty？ And； if so； is there not danger that the closing of our
homes may lead to the crowding up of the world with too much higher
things？
May there not； by the time all bothers have been removed from woman's
path； be too many amateur violinists in the world； too many skirt…
dancers； too much poker work？ If not； what are they？ these 〃higher
things；〃 for which so many women are demanding twenty…four hours a
day leisure。 I want to know。
One lady of my acquaintance is a Poor Law Guardian and secretary to a
labour bureau。 But then she runs a house with two servants； four
children； and a husband； and appears to be so used to bothers that
she would feel herself lost without them。 You can do this kind of
work apparently even when you are bothered with a home。 It is the
skirt…dancing and the poker work that cannot brook rivalry。 The
modern woman has begun to find children a nuisance； they interfere
with her development。 The mere man； who has written his poems；
painted his pictures； composed his melodies； fashioned his
philosophies； in the midst of life's troubles and bothers； grows
nervous thinking what this new woman must be whose mind is so
tremendous that the whole world must be shut up； so to speak； sent to
do its business out of her sight and hearing； lest her attention
should be distracted。
An optimistic friend of mine tells me not to worry myself； tells me
that it is going to come out all right in the end。 Woman just now；
he contends； is passing through her college period。 The school life
of strict surveillance is for ever done with。 She is now the young
Freshwoman。 The bothering lessons are over； the bothering
schoolmaster she has said good…bye to。 She has her latchkey and is
〃on her own。〃 There are still some bothering rules about being in at
twelve o'clock； and so many attendances each term at chapel。 She is
indignant。 This interferes with her idea that life is to be one long
orgie of self…indulgence； of pleasure。 The college period will pass…
…is passing。 Woman will go out into the world； take her place there；
discover that bothers were not left behind in the old schoolhouse；
will learn that life has duties； responsibilities； will take up her
burden side by side with man； will accomplish her destiny。
＇Is there anything left for her to learn？＇
Meanwhile； however； she is having a good timesome people think too
good a time。 She wants the best of both。 She demands the joys of
independence together with freedom from all workslavery she calls
it。 The servants are not to be allowed to bother her； the children
are not to be allowed to bother her； her husband is not to be allowed
to bother her。 She is to be free to lead the higher life。 My dear
lady； we all want to lead the higher life。 I don't want to write
these articles。 I want somebody else to bother about my rates and
taxes； my children's boots； while I sit in an easy…chair and dream
about the wonderful books I am going to write； if only a stupid
public would let me。 Tommy Smith of Brixton feels that he was
intended for higher things。 He does not want to be wasting his time
in an office from nine to six adding up figures。 His proper place in
life is that of Prime Minister or Field Marshal： he feels it。 Do
you think the man has no yearning for higher things？ Do you think we
like the office； the shop； the factory？ We ought to be writing
poetry； painting pictures； the whole world admiring us。 You seem to
imagine your man goes off every morning to a sort of City picnic； has
eight hours' funwhich he calls workand then comes home to annoy
you with chatter about dinner。
It is the old fable reversed； man said woman had nothing to do all
day but to enjoy herself。 Making a potato pie！ What sort of work
was that？ Making a potato pie was a lark； anybody could make a
potato pie。
So the woman said； 〃Try it；〃 and took the man's spade and went out
into the field； and left him at home to make that pie。
The man discovered that potato pies took a bit more making than he
had reckonedfound that running the house and looking after the
children was not quite the merry pastime he had argued。 Man was a
fool。
Now it is the woman who talks without thinking。 How did she like
hoeing the potato patch？ Hard work； was it not； my dear lady？ Made
your back ache？ It came on to rain and you got wet。
I don't see that it very much matters which of you hoes the potato
patch； which of you makes the potato pie。 Maybe the hoeing of the
patch demands more muscleis more suited to the man。 Maybe the
making of the pie may be more in your department。 But； as I have
said； I cannot see that this matter is of importance。 The patch has
to be hoed； the pie to be cooked； the one cannot do the both。 Settle
it between you； and； having settled it； agree to do each your own
work free from this everlasting nagging。
I know； personally； three ladies who have exchanged the woman's work
for the man's。 One was deserted by her husband； and left with two
young children。 She hired a capable woman to look after the house；
and joined a ladies' orchestra as pianist at two pounds a week。 She
now earns four； and works twelve hours a day。 The husband of the
second fell ill。 She set him to write letters and run errands； which
was light work that he could do； and started a dressmaker's business。
The thi