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A flash of inspiration crossed my mind。 I went to the shop of the
village apothecary。 He knew me； I had often purchased vitriol； which I
poured into Grubbins's inkstand to corrode his pens and burn up his coat…
tail； on which he was in the habit of wiping them。 I boldly asked for an
ounce of chloroform。 The young apothecary winked and handed me the
bottle。
It was Grubbins's custom to throw his handkerchief over his head；
recline in his chair and take a short nap during recess。 Watching my
opportunity； as he dozed； I managed to slip his handkerchief from his face
and substitute my own； moistened with chloroform。 In a few minutes he
was insensible。 Tom and I then quickly shaved his head； beard； and
eyebrows； blackened his face with a mixture of vitriol and burnt cork； and
fled。 There was a row and scandal the next day。 My father always excused
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me by asserting that Grubbins had got drunk；but somehow found it
convenient to procure me an appointment in her Majesty's navy at an early
day。
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CHAPTER II。
An official letter； with the Admiralty seal； informed me that I was
expected to join H。 M。 ship Belcher； Captain Boltrope； at Portsmouth；
without delay。 In a few days I presented myself to a tall； stern…visaged man；
who was slowly pacing the leeward side of the quarter…deck。 As I touched
my hat he eyed me sternly：
〃So ho！ Another young suckling。 The service is going to the devil。
Nothing but babes in the cockpit and grannies in the board。 Boatswain's
mate； pass the word for Mr。 Cheek！〃
Mr。 Cheek； the steward； appeared and touched his hat。 〃Introduce Mr。
Breezy to the young gentlemen。 Stop！ Where's Mr。 Swizzle？〃
〃At the masthead； sir。〃
〃Where's Mr。 Lankey？〃
〃At the masthead； sir。〃
〃Mr。 Briggs？〃
〃Masthead； too； sir。〃
〃And the rest of the young gentlemen？〃 roared the enraged officer。
〃All masthead； sir。〃
〃Ah！〃 said Captain Boltrope； as he smiled grimly； 〃under the
circumstances； Mr。 Breezy； you had better go to the masthead too。〃
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CHAPTER III。
At the masthead I made the acquaintance of two youngsters of about
my own age； one of whom informed me that he had been there three
hundred and thirty…two days out of the year。
〃In rough weather； when the old cock is out of sorts； you know； we
never come down；〃 added a young gentleman of nine years； with a dirk
nearly as long as himself； who had been introduced to me as Mr。 Briggs。
〃By the way； Pills；〃 be continued； 〃how did you come to omit giving the
captain a naval salute？〃
〃Why； I touched my hat；〃 I said； innocently。
〃Yes； but that isn't enough； you know。 That will do very well at other
times。 He expects the naval salute when you first come on boardgreeny！〃
I began to feel alarmed； and begged him to explain。
〃Why； you see； after touching your hat； you should have touched him
lightly with your forefinger in his waistcoat； so； and asked； 'How's his
nibs？'you see？〃
〃How's his nibs？〃 I repeated。
〃Exactly。 He would have drawn back a little； and then you should have
repeated the salute remarking； 'How's his royal nibs？' asking cautiously
after his wife and family； and requesting to be introduced to the gunner's
daughter。〃
〃The gunner's daughter？〃
〃The same； you know she takes care of us young gentlemen； now don't
forget； Pillsy！〃
When we were called down to the deck I thought it a good chance to
profit by this instruction。 I approached Captain Boltrope and repeated the
salute without conscientiously omitting a single detail。 He remained for a
moment； livid and speechless。 At length he gasped out：
〃Boatswain's mate？〃
〃If you please； sir；〃 I asked； tremulously； 〃I should like to be
introduced to the gunner's daughter！〃
〃O； very good； sir！〃 screamed Captain Boltrope； rubbing his hands and
absolutely capering about the deck with rage。 〃O dn you！ Of course you
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shall！ O ho！ the gunner's daughter！ O； hll！ this is too much！ Boatswain's
mate！〃 Before I well knew where I was； I was seized； borne to an eight…
pounder； tied upon it and flogged！
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CHAPTER IV。
As we sat together in the cockpit； picking the weevils out of our
biscuit； Briggs consoled me for my late mishap； adding that the 〃naval
salute；〃 as a custom； seemed just then to be honored more in the BREACH
than the observance。 I joined in the hilarity occasioned by the witticism；
and in a few moments we were all friends。 Presently Swizzle turned to
me： 〃We have been just planning how to confiscate a keg of claret；
which Nips； the purser； keeps under his bunk。 The old nipcheese lies there
drunk half the day； and there's no getting at it。〃
〃Let's get beneath the state…room and bore through the deck； and so tap
it；〃 said Lankey。
The proposition was received with a shout of applause。 A long half…
inch auger and bit was procured from Chips； the carpenter's mate； and
Swizzle； after a careful examination of the timbers beneath the ward…room；
commenced operations。 The auger at last disappeared； when suddenly
there was a slight disturbance on the deck above。 Swizzle withdrew the
auger hurriedly； from its point a few bright red drops trickled。
〃Huzza！ send her up again！〃 cried Lankey。
The auger was again applied。 This time a shriek was heard from the
purser's cabin。 Instantly the light was doused； and the party retreated
hurriedly to the cockpit。 A sound of snoring was heard as the sentry stuck
his head into the door。 〃All right； sir；〃 he replied in answer to the voice of
the officer of the deck。
The next morning we heard that Nips was in the surgeon's hands； with
a bad wound in the fleshy part of his leg； and that the auger had NOT
struck claret。
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CHAPTER V。
〃Now； Pills； you'll have a chance to smell powder；〃 said Briggs as he
entered the cockpit and buckled around his waist an enormous cutlass。
〃We have just sighted a French ship。〃
We went on deck。 Captain Boltrope grinned as we touched our hats。
He hated the purser。 〃Come； young gentlemen； if you're boring for french
claret； yonder's a good quality。 Mind your con； sir；〃 he added； turning to
the quartermaster； who was grinning。
The ship was already cleared for action。 The men； in their eagerness；
had started the coffee from the tubs and filled them with shot。 Presently
the Frenchman yawed； and a shot from a long thirty…two came skipping
over the water。 It killed the quartermaster and took off both of Lankey's
legs。 〃Tell the purser our account is squared；〃 said the dying boy； with a
feeble smile。
The fight raged fiercely for two hours。 I remember killing the French
Admiral； as we boarded； but on looking around for Briggs； after the smoke
had cleared away； I was intensely amused at witnessing the following
novel sight：
Briggs had pinned the French captain against the mast with his cutlass；
and was now engaged； with all the hilarity of youth； in pulling the
captain's coat…tails between his legs； in imitation of a dancing…jack。 As the
Frenchman lifted his legs and arms； at each jerk of Briggs's； I could not
help participating in the general mirth。
〃You young devil； what are you doing？〃 said a stifled voice behind me。
I looked up and beheld Captain Boltrope； endeavoring t