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distinctiveness to idiocracy； which is； however； subject to the limits of ME。
You are an admirer of the Beautiful； sir。 You wish your boots blacked。 The
Beautiful is attainable by means of the Coin。〃
〃Ah；〃 said Sir Edward thoughtfully； gazing upon the almost supernal
beauty of the Child before him； 〃you speak well。 You have read Kant。〃
The Boy blushed deeply。 He drew a copy of Kant from his blouse； but
in his confusion several other volumes dropped from his bosom on the
ground。 The Baronet picked them up。
〃Ah！〃 said the Philosopher； 〃what's this？ Cicero's De Senectute； at
your age； too？ Martial's Epigrams； Caesar's Commentaries。 What！ a
classical scholar？〃
〃E pluribus Unum。 Nux vomica。 Nil desperandum。 Nihil fit！〃 said the
Boy； enthusiastically。 The Philosopher gazed at the Child。 A strange
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presence seemed to transfuse and possess him。 Over the brow of the Boy
glittered the pale nimbus of the Student。
〃Ah； and Schiller's Robbers； too？〃 queried the Philosopher。
〃Das ist ausgespielt；〃 said the Boy； modestly。
〃Then you have read my translation of Schiller's Ballads？〃 continued
the Baronet； with some show of interest。
〃I have； and infinitely prefer them to the original；〃 said the Boy； with
intellectual warmth。 〃You have shown how in Actual life we strive for a
Goal we cannot reach； how in the Ideal the Goal is attainable； and there
effort is victory。 You have given us the Antithesis which is a key to the
Remainder； and constantly balances before us the conditions of the Actual
and the privileges of the Ideal。〃
My very words；〃 said the Baronet； 〃wonderful； wonderful！〃 and he
gazed fondly at the Italian boy； who again resumed his menial
employment。 Alas！ the wings of the Ideal were folded。 The Student had
been absorbed in the Boy。
But Sir Edward's boots were blacked； and he turned to depart。 Placing
his hand upon the clustering tendrils that surrounded the classic nob of the
infant Italian； he said softly； like a strain of distant music：
〃Boy； you have done well。 Love the Good。 Protect the Innocent。
Provide for The Indigent。 Respect the Philosopher。 。 。 。 Stay！ Can you tell
we what IS The True； The Beautiful； The Innocent； The Virtuous？〃
〃They are things that commence with a capital letter；〃 said the Boy；
promptly。
〃Enough！ Respect everything that commences with a capital letter！
Respect ME！〃 and dropping a half…penny in the hand of the boy； he
departed。
The Boy gazed fixedly at the coin。 A frightful and instantaneous
change overspread his features。 His noble brow was corrugated with baser
lines of calculation。 His black eye； serpent…like； glittered with suppressed
passion。 Dropping upon his hands and feet； he crawled to the curbstone
and hissed after the retreating form of the Baronet； the single word：
〃Bilk！〃
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BOOK II。
IN THE WORLD。
〃Eleven years ago；〃 said Sir Edward to himself； as his brougham
slowly rolled him toward the Committee Room； 〃just eleven years ago my
natural son disappeared mysteriously。 I have no doubt in the world but that
this little bootblack is he。 His mother died in Italy。 He resembles his
mother very much。 Perhaps I ought to provide for him。 Shall I disclose
myself？ No！ no！ Better he should taste the sweets of Labor。 Penury
ennobles the mind and kindles the Love of the Beautiful。 I will act to him；
not like a Father； not like a Guardian； not like a Friendbut like a
Philosopher！〃
With these words； Sir Edward entered the Committee Room。 His
Secretary approached him。 〃Sir Edward； there are fears of a division in the
House； and the Prime Minister has sent for you。〃
〃I will be there；〃 said Sir Edward； as he placed his hand on his chest
and uttered a hollow cough！
No one who heard the Baronet that night； in his sarcastic and withering
speech on the Drainage and Sewerage Bill； would have recognized the
lover of the Ideal and the Philosopher of the Beautiful。 No one who
listened to his eloquence would have dreamed of the Spartan resolution
this iron man had taken in regard to the Lost Boyhis own beloved Lionel。
None！
〃A fine speech from Sir Edward to…night；〃 said Lord Billingsgate； as；
arm…and…arm with the Premier； he entered his carriage。
〃Yes！ but how dreadfully he coughs！〃
〃Exactly。 Dr。 Bolus says his lungs are entirely gone； he breathes
entirely by an effort of will； and altogether independent of pulmonary
assistance。〃
〃How strange！〃 and the carriage rolled away。
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BOOK III。
THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD。
〃ADON AI； appear！ appear！〃
And as the Seer spoke； the awful Presence glided out of Nothingness；
and sat； sphinx…like； at the feet of the Alchemist。
〃I am come！〃 said the Thing。
〃You should say； 'I have come；'it's better grammar；〃 said the Boy…
Neophyte； thoughtfully accenting the substituted expression。
〃Hush； rash Boy；〃 said the Seer； sternly。 〃Would you oppose your
feeble knowledge to the infinite intelligence of the Unmistakable？ A word；
and you are lost forever。〃
The Boy breathed a silent prayer； and； handing a sealed package to the
Seer； begged him to hand it to his father in case of his premature decease。
〃You have sent for me；〃 hissed the Presence。 〃Behold me；
Apokatharticon；the Unpronounceable。 In me all things exist that are not
already coexistent。 I am the Unattainable； the Intangible； the Cause； and
the Effect。 In me observe the Brahma of Mr。 Emerson； not only Brahma
himself； but also the sacred musical composition rehearsed by the faithful
Hindoo。 I am the real Gyges。 None others are genuine。〃
And the veiled Son of the Starbeam laid himself loosely about the
room； and permeated Space generally。
〃Unfathomable Mystery；〃 said the Rosicrucian in a low； sweet voice。
〃Brave Child with the Vitreous Optic！ Thou who pervadest all things and
rubbest against us without abrasion of the cuticle。 I command thee；
speak！〃
And the misty； intangible； indefinite Presence spoke。
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BOOK IV。
MYSELF。
After the events related in the last chapter； the reader will perceive
that nothing was easier than to reconcile Sir Edward to his son Lionel； nor
to resuscitate the beautiful Italian girl； who； it appears； was not dead； and
to cause Sir Edward to marry his first and boyish love； whom he had
deserted。 They were married in St。 George's； Hanover Square。 As the
bridal party stood before the altar； Sir Edward； with a sweet sad smile； said；
in quite his old manner：
〃The Sublime and Beautiful are the Real； the only Ideal is the
Ridiculous and Homely。 Let us always remember this。 Let us through life
endeavor to personify the virtues； and always begin 'em with a capital
letter。 Let us； whenever we can find an opportunity； deliver our sentiments
in the form of round…hand copies。 Respect the Aged。 Eschew Vulgarity。
Admire Ourselves。 Regard the Novelist。〃
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THE HAUNTED MAN。…A
CHRISTMAS STORY。
BY CHRS DCKNS。
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BOOK I。 THE FIRST PHANTOM。
Don't tell me that it wasn't a knocker。 I had seen it often enough； and