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I'm awfully sorry。 Is anything the matter in the kitchen； Pellin？〃 she
asked of the attendant maid。
〃Well； ma'am； the new cook hadn't hardly time to see to things
properly； coming in so sudden … 〃 commenced Pellin by way of
explanation。
〃The new cook！〃 screamed Mrs。 Attray。
〃Colonel Norridrum's cook； ma'am；〃 said Pellin。
〃What on earth do you mean？ What is Colonel Norridrum's cook
doing in my kitchen … and where is my cook？〃
〃Perhaps I can explain better than Pellin can；〃 said Ronald hurriedly；
〃the fact is； I was dining at the Norridrums' yesterday； and they were
wishing they had a swell cook like yours； just for to…day and to…morrow；
while they've got some gourmet staying with them： their own cook is no
earthly good … well； you've seen what she turns out when she's at all
flurried。 So I thought it would be rather sporting to play them at
baccarat for the loan of our cook against a money stake； and I lost；
that's all。 I have had rotten luck at baccarat all this year。〃
The remainder of his explanation； of how he had assured the cooks
that the temporary transfer had his mother's sanction； and had smuggled
the one out and the other in during the maternal absence； was drowned
in the outcry of scandalised upbraiding。
〃If I had sold the woman into slavery there couldn't have been a
bigger fuss about it；〃 he confided afterwards to Bertie Norridrum； 〃and
Eleanor Saxelby raged and ramped the louder of the two。 I tell you
what； I'll bet you two of the Amherst pheasants to five shillings that
she refuses to have me as a partner at the croquet tournament。 We're
drawn together； you know。〃
This time he won his bet。
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BEASTS AND SUPER…BEASTS
CLOVIS ON PARENTAL
RESPONSIBILITIES
MARION EGGELBY sat talking to Clovis on the only subject that
she ever willingly talked about … her offspring and their varied
perfections and accomplishments。 Clovis was not in what could be
called a receptive mood； the younger generation of Eggelby； depicted
in the glowing improbable colours of parent impressionism； aroused in
him no enthusiasm。 Mrs。 Eggelby； on the other hand； was furnished
with enthusiasm enough for two。
〃You would like Eric；〃 she said； argumentatively rather than
hopefully。 Clovis had intimated very unmistakably that he was
unlikely to care extravagantly for either Amy or Willie。 〃Yes； I feel
sure you would like Eric。 Every one takes to him at once。 You know；
he always reminds me of that famous picture of the youthful David … I
forget who it's by； but it's very well known。〃
〃That would be sufficient to set me against him； if I saw much of
him；〃 said Clovis。 〃Just imagine at auction bridge； for instance； when
one was trying to concentrate one's mind on what one's partner's original
declaration had been； and to remember what suits one's opponents had
originally discarded； what it would be like to have some one persistently
reminding one of a picture of the youthful David。 It would be simply
maddening。 If Eric did that I should detest him。〃
〃Eric doesn't play bridge；〃 said Mrs。 Eggelby with dignity。
〃Doesn't he？〃 asked Clovis； 〃why not？〃
〃None of my children have been brought up to play card games；〃
said Mrs。 Eggelby； 〃draughts and halma and those sorts of games I
encourage。 Eric is considered quite a wonderful draughts…player。〃
〃You are strewing dreadful risks in the path of your family；〃 said
Clovis； 〃a friend of mine who is a prison chaplain told me that among
the worst criminal cases that have come under his notice； men
condemned to death or to long periods of penal servitude； there was not
a single bridge…player。 On the other hand； he knew at least two
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BEASTS AND SUPER…BEASTS
expert draughts…players among them。〃
〃I really don't see what my boys have got to do with the criminal
classes；〃 said Mrs。 Eggelby resentfully。 〃They have been most carefully
brought up； I can assure you that。〃
〃That shows that you were nervous as to how they would turn out；〃
said Clovis。 〃Now； my mother never bothered about bringing me up。
She just saw to it that I got whacked at decent intervals and was taught
the difference between right and wrong； there is some difference； you
know； but I've forgotten what it is。〃
〃Forgotten the difference between right and wrong！〃 exclaimed Mrs。
Eggelby。
〃Well； you see； I took up natural history and a whole lot of other
subjects at the same time； and one can't remember everything； can one？
I used to know the difference between the Sardinian dormouse and the
ordinary kind； and whether the wry…neck arrives at our shores earlier
than the cuckoo； or the other way round； and how long the walrus takes
in growing to maturity； I daresay you knew all those sorts of things once；
but I bet you've forgotten them。〃
〃Those things are not important；〃 said Mrs。 Eggelby； 〃but … 〃
〃The fact that we've both forgotten them proves that they are
important；〃 said Clovis； 〃you must have noticed that it's always the
important things that one forgets； while the trivial； unnecessary facts of
life stick in one's memory。 There's my cousin； Editha Clubberley； for
instance； I can never forget that her birthday is on the 12th of October。
It's a matter of utter indifference to me on what date her birthday falls； or
whether she was born at all； either fact seems to me absolutely trivial；
or unnecessary … I've heaps of other cousins to go on with。 On the other
hand； when I'm staying with Hildegarde Shrubley I can never remember
the important circumstance whether her first husband got his unenviable
reputation on the Turf or the Stock Exchange； and that uncertainty rules
Sport and Finance out of the conversation at once。 One can never
mention travel； either； because her second husband had to live
permanently abroad。〃
〃Mrs。 Shrubley and I move in very different circles；〃 said Mrs。
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Eggelby stiffly。
〃No one who knows Hildegarde could possibly accuse her of
moving in a circle；〃 said Clovis； 〃her view of life seems to be a non…stop
run with an inexhaustible supply of petrol。 If she can get some one else
to pay for the petrol so much the better。 I don't mind confessing to
you that she has taught me more than any other woman I can think of。〃
〃What kind of knowledge？〃 demanded Mrs。 Eggelby； with the air a
jury might collectively wear when finding a verdict without leaving the
box。
〃Well； among other things； she's introduced me to at least four
different ways of cooking lobster；〃 said Clovis gratefully。 〃That； of
course； wouldn't appeal to you； people who abstain from the pleasures of
the card… table never really appreciate the finer possibilities of the
dining…table。 I suppose their powers of enlightened enjoyment get
atrophied from disuse。〃
〃An aunt of mine was very ill after eating a lobster；〃 said Mrs。
Eggelby。
〃I daresay； if we knew more of her history； we