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was generally forgotten a few weeks later in the excitement of some new
discovery。
〃The inspiration came to me whilst I was dressing；〃 announced
Lucas； 〃it will be THE thing in the next music… hall REVUE。 All London
will go mad over it。 It's just a couplet； of course there will be other
words； but they won't matter。 Listen：
Cousin Teresa takes out Caesar； Fido； Jock； and the big borzoi。
A lifting； catchy sort of refrain； you see； and big… drum business on
the two syllables of bor…zoi。 It's immense。 And I've thought out all
the business of it； the singer will sing the first verse alone； then during
the second verse Cousin Teresa will walk through； followed by four
wooden dogs on wheels； Caesar will be an Irish terrier； Fido a black
poodle； Jock a fox…terrier； and the borzoi； of course； will be a borzoi。
During the third verse Cousin Teresa will come on alone； and the dogs
will be drawn across by themselves from the opposite wing； then Cousin
Teresa will catch on to the singer and go off…stage in one direction； while
the dogs' procession goes off in the other； crossing en route； which is
always very effective。 There'll be a lot of applause there； and for the
fourth verse Cousin Teresa will come on in sables and the dogs will all
have coats on。 Then I've got a great idea for the fifth verse； each of the
dogs will be led on by a Nut； and Cousin Teresa will come on from the
opposite side； crossing en route； always effective； and then she turns
round and leads the whole lot of them off on a string； and all the time
every one singing like mad：
Cousin Teresa takes out Caesar Fido； Jock； and the big borzoi。
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Tum…Tum！ Drum business on the two last syllables。 I'm so
excited； I shan't sleep a wink to…night。 I'm off to…morrow by the ten…
fifteen。 I've wired to Hermanova to lunch with me。〃
If any of the rest of the family felt any excitement over the creation
of Cousin Teresa； they were signally successful in concealing the fact。
〃Poor Lucas does take his silly little ideas seriously；〃 said Colonel
Harrowcluff afterwards in the smoking…room。
〃Yes；〃 said his younger son； in a slightly less tolerant tone； 〃in a day
or two he'll come back and tell us that his sensational masterpiece is
above the heads of the public； and in about three weeks' time he'll be
wild with enthusiasm over a scheme to dramatise the poems of Herrick
or something equally promising。〃
And then an extraordinary thing befell。 In defiance of all precedent
Lucas's glowing anticipations were justified and endorsed by the course
of events。 If Cousin Teresa was above the heads of the public； the
public heroically adapted itself to her altitude。 Introduced as an
experiment at a dull moment in a new REVUE； the success of the item
was unmistakable； the calls were so insistent and uproarious that even
Lucas' ample devisings of additional 〃business〃 scarcely sufficed to
keep pace with the demand。 Packed houses on successive evenings
confirmed the verdict of the first night audience； stalls and boxes filled
significantly just before the turn came on； and emptied significantly
after the last ENCORE had been given。 The manager tearfully
acknowledged that Cousin Teresa was It。 Stage hands and supers and
programme sellers acknowledged it to one another without the least
reservation。 The name of the REVUE dwindled to secondary
importance； and vast letters of electric blue blazoned the words 〃Cousin
Teresa〃 from the front of the great palace of pleasure。 And； of course；
the magic of the famous refrain laid its spell all over the Metropolis。
Restaurant proprietors were obliged to provide the members of their
orchestras with painted wooden dogs on wheels； in order that the
much…demanded and always conceded melody should be rendered with
the necessary spectacular effects； and the crash of bottles and forks on
the tables at the mention of the big borzoi usually drowned the sincerest
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efforts of drum or cymbals。 Nowhere and at no time could one get
away from the double thump that brought up the rear of the refrain；
revellers reeling home at night banged it on doors and hoardings；
milkmen clashed their cans to its cadence； messenger boys hit smaller
messenger boys resounding double smacks on the same principle。 And
the more thoughtful circles of the great city were not deaf to the claims
and significance of the popular melody。 An enterprising and
emancipated preacher discoursed from his pulpit on the inner meaning
of 〃Cousin Teresa；〃 and Lucas Harrowcluff was invited to lecture on the
subject of his great achievement to members of the Young Mens'
Endeavour League； the Nine Arts Club； and other learned and willing…
to…learn bodies。 In Society it seemed to be the one thing people really
cared to talk about； men and women of middle age and average
education might be seen together in corners earnestly discussing； not the
question whether Servia should have an outlet on the Adriatic； or the
possibilities of a British success in international polo contests； but the
more absorbing topic of the problematic Aztec or Nilotic origin of the
Teresa MOTIV。
〃Politics and patriotism are so boring and so out of date；〃 said a
revered lady who had some pretensions to oracular utterance； 〃we are
too cosmopolitan nowadays to be really moved by them。 That is why
one welcomes an intelligible production like 'Cousin Teresa；' that has a
genuine message for one。 One can't understand the message all at once；
of course； but one felt from the very first that it was there。 I've been to
see it eighteen times and I'm going again to…morrow and on Thursday。
One can't see it often enough。〃
* * * *
〃It would be rather a popular move if we gave this Harrowcluff
person a knighthood or something of the sort；〃 said the Minister
reflectively。
〃Which Harrowcluff？〃asked his secretary。
〃Which？ There is only one； isn't there？〃 said the Minister； 〃the
'Cousin Teresa' man； of course。 I think every one would be pleased if
we knighted him。 Yes； you can put him down on the list of certainties …
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under the letter L。〃
〃The letter L；〃 said the secretary； who was new to his job； 〃does that
stand for Liberalism or liberality？〃
Most of the recipients of Ministerial favour were expected to qualify
in both of those subjects。
〃Literature；〃 explained the Minister。
And thus； after a fashion； Colonel Harrowcluff's expectation of
seeing his son's name in the list of Honours was gratified。
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THE YARKAND MANNER
SIR LULWORTH QUAYNE was making a leisurely progress
through the Zoological Society's Gardens in company with his nephew；
recen