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mind taking in this wee piggie； he's rather a little love； but he has a vile
temper。 He gets that from his mother … not that I like to say things
against her when she's lying dead and drowned in her stye； poor thing。
What he really wants is a man's firm hand to keep him in order。 I'd try
and grapple with him myself； only I've got my chow in my room； you
know； and he goes for pigs wherever he finds them。〃
〃Couldn't the pig go in the bathroom？〃 asked Latimer faintly；
wishing that he had taken up as determined a stand on the subject of
bedroom swine as the chow had。
〃The bathroom？〃 Vera laughed shrilly。 〃It'll be full of Boy Scouts
till morning if the hot water holds out。〃
〃Boy Scouts？〃
〃Yes； thirty of them came to rescue us while the water was only
waist…high； then it rose another three feet or so and we had to rescue
them。 We're giving them hot baths in batches and drying their clothes
in the hot… air cupboard； but； of course； drenched clothes don't dry in a
minute； and the corridor and staircase are beginning to look like a bit of
coast scenery by Tuke。 Two of the boys are wearing your Melton
overcoat； I hope you don't mind。〃
〃It's a new overcoat；〃 said Latimer； with every indication of minding
dreadfully。
〃You'll take every care of Hartlepool's Wonder； won't you？〃 said
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Vera。 〃His mother took three firsts at Birmingham； and he was second
in the cockerel class last year at Gloucester。 He'll probably roost on the
rail at the bottom of your bed。 I wonder if he'd feel more at home if
some of his wives were up here with him？ The hens are all in the
pantry； and I think I could pick out Hartlepool Helen； she's his
favourite。〃
Latimer showed a belated firmness on the subject of Hartlepool
Helen； and Vera withdrew without pressing the point； having first settled
the gamecock on his extemporised perch and taken an affectionate
farewell of the pigling。 Latimer undressed and got into bed with all
due speed； judging that the pig would abate its inquisitorial restlessness
once the light was turned out。 As a substitute for a cosy； straw…bedded
sty the room offered； at first inspection； few attractions； but the
disconsolate animal suddenly discovered an appliance in which the most
luxuriously contrived piggeries were notably deficient。 The sharp edge
of the underneath part of the bed was pitched at exactly the right
elevation to permit the pigling to scrape himself ecstatically backwards
and forwards； with an artistic humping of the back at the crucial moment
and an accompanying gurgle of long…drawn delight。 The gamecock；
who may have fancied that he was being rocked in the branches of a
pine…tree； bore the motion with greater fortitude than Latimer was able
to command。 A series of slaps directed at the pig's body were accepted
more as an additional and pleasing irritant than as a criticism of conduct
or a hint to desist； evidently something more than a man's firm hand
was needed to deal with the case。 Latimer slipped out of bed in search
of a weapon of dissuasion。 There was sufficient light in the room to
enable the pig to detect this manoeuvre； and the vile temper； inherited
from the drowned mother； found full play。 Latimer bounded back
into bed； and his conqueror； after a few threatening snorts and
champings of its jaws； resumed its massage operations with renewed
zeal。 During the long wakeful hours which ensued Latimer tried to
distract his mind from his own immediate troubles by dwelling with
decent sympathy on the second housemaid's bereavement； but he
found himself more often wondering how many Boy Scouts were
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sharing his Melton overcoat。 The role of Saint Martin malgre lui was
not one which appealed to him。
Towards dawn the pigling fell into a happy slumber； and Latimer
might have followed its example； but at about the same time Stupor
Hartlepooli gave a rousing crow； clattered down to the floor and
forthwith commenced a spirited combat with his reflection in the
wardrobe mirror。 Remembering that the bird was more or less under
his care Latimer performed Hague Tribunal offices by draping a bath…
towel over the provocative mirror； but the ensuing peace was local and
short…lived。 The deflected energies of the gamecock found new outlet
in a sudden and sustained attack on the sleeping and temporarily
inoffensive pigling； and the duel which followed was desperate and
embittered beyond any possibility of effective intervention。 The
feathered combatant had the advantage of being able； when hard pressed；
to take refuge on the bed； and freely availed himself of this
circumstance； the pigling never quite succeeded in hurling himself on to
the same eminence； but it was not from want of trying。
Neither side could claim any decisive success； and the struggle had
been practically fought to a standstill by the time that the maid appeared
with the early morning tea。
〃Lor； sir；〃 she exclaimed in undisguised astonishment； 〃do you
want those animals in your room？〃
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WANT！
The pigling； as though aware that it might have outstayed its
welcome； dashed out at the door； and the gamecock followed it at a more
dignified pace。
〃If Miss Vera's dog sees that pig … ！〃 exclaimed the maid； and hurried
off to avert such a catastrophe。
A cold suspicion was stealing over Latimer's mind； he went to the
window and drew up the blind。 A light； drizzling rain was falling； but
there was not the faintest trace of any inundation。
Some half…hour later he met Vera on the way to the breakfast…room。
〃I should not like to think of you as a deliberate liar；〃 he observed
coldly； 〃but one occasionally has to do things one does not like。〃
〃At any rate I kept your mind from dwelling on politics all the
night；〃 said Vera。
Which was； of course； perfectly true。
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THE UNKINDEST BLOW
THE season of strikes seemed to have run itself to a standstill。
Almost every trade and industry and calling in which a dislocation could
possibly be engineered had indulged in that luxury。 The last and least
successful convulsion had been the strike of the World's Union of
Zoological Garden attendants； who； pending the settlement of certain
demands； refused to minister further to the wants of the animals
committed to their charge or to allow any other keepers to take their
place。 In this case the threat of the Zoological Gardens authorities
that if the men 〃came out〃 the animals should come out also had
intensified and precipitated the crisis。 The imminent prospect of the
larger carnivores； to say nothing