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Chinese puzzle you call your head； Kong？〃 he replied； for this same
William was one who habitually gilded unpalatable truths into the
semblance of a flattering jest。 〃Whenever you turn off what you are saying
into a willow…pattern compliment and bow seventeen times like an
animated mandarin； I know that you are keeping something back。 Be a
man and a brother； and out with it；〃 and he struck me heavily upon the left
shoulder； which among the barbarians is a proof of cordiality to be
esteemed much above the mere wagging of each other's hands。
〃In the matter of guidance；〃 I replied； 〃this person is ready to sit
unreservedly on your well…polished feet。 But touching the borrowing of
money； obligations to restore with an added sum after a certain period；
initial…bearing papers of doubtful import； and the like； I have read too
deeply the pointed records of your own printed sheets not to prefer an
existence devoted to the scraping together of dust at the street corners；
rather than a momentary affluence which in the end would betray me into
the tiger…like voracity of a native money…lender。〃
〃Well； you do me proud； Kong；〃 said William Beveledge； after
regarding me fixedly for a moment。 〃If I didn't remember that you are a
flat…faced； slant…eyed； top…side…under； pig…tailed old heathen； I should be
really annoyed at your unwarrantable personalities。 Do you take ME for
what you call a 'native money…lender'？〃
The pronouncements of destiny are written in iron；〃 I replied
inoffensively； 〃and it is as truly said that one fated to end his life in a cave
cannot live for ever on the top of a pagoda。 Undoubtedly as one born and
residing here you are native； and as inexorably it succeeds that if you lend
me pieces of gold you become a money…lender。 Therefore； though
honourably inspired at the first； you would equally be drawn into the
entanglement of circumstance； and the unevadible end must inevitably be
that against which your printed papers consistently warn one。〃
〃And what is that？〃 asked Beveledge Greyson； still regarding me
closely； as though I were a creature of another part。
〃At first；〃 I replied； 〃there would be an alluring snare of graceful
words； tea； and the consuming of paper…rolled herbs； and the matter would
be lightly spoken of as capable of an easy adjustment； which； indeed； it
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cannot be denied； is how the detail stands at present。 The next position
would be that this person； finding himself unable to gather together the
equivalent of return within the stated time； would greet you with a very
supple neck and pray for a further extension； which would be permitted on
the understanding that in the event of failure his garments and personal
charms should be held in bondage。 To escape so humiliating a necessity； as
the time drew near I would address myself to another； one calling himself
William； perchance； and dwelling in a northern province； to whom I would
be compelled to assign my peach…orchard at Yuen…ping。 Then by varying
degrees of infamy I would in turn be driven to visit a certain Bevel of the
Middle Lands； a person Edge carrying on his insatiable traffic on the
southern coast； one Grey elsewhere； and a Mr。 Son； of the west； who might
make an honourable profession of lending money without any security
whatever； but who in the end would possess himself of my ancestral
tablets； wives； and inlaid coffin； and probably also obtain a lien upon my
services and prosperity in the Upper Air。 Then； when I had parted from all
comfort in this life； and every hope of affluence in the Beyond； it would
presently be disclosed that all these were in reality as one person who had
unceasingly plotted to my destruction； and William Beveledge Greyson
would stand revealed in the guise of a malevolent vampire。 Truly that
development has at this moment an appearance of unreality； and worthy
even of pooh…pooh； but thus is the warning spread by your own printed
papers and the records of your Halls of Justice； and it would be an
unseemly presumption for one of my immature experience to ignore the
outstretched and warning finger of authority。〃
〃Well； Kong；〃 he said at length； after considering my words attentively；
〃I always thought that your mental outlook was a hash of Black Art； paper
lanterns； blank verse； twilight； and delirium tremens； but hang me if you
aren't sound on finance； and I only wish that you'd get some of my friends
to look at the matter of borrowing in your own reasonable； broad…minded
light。 The question is； what next？〃
I replied that I leaned heavily against his sagacious insight； adding；
however； that even among a nation of barbarians one who could repeat the
three hundred and eleven poems comprising the Book of Odes from
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beginning to end； and claim the degree 〃Assured Genius〃 would ever be
certain of a place。
〃Yes；〃 replied William Greyson；〃in the workhouse。 Put your degree
in your inside pocket； Kong； and don't mention it。 You'll have far more
chance as a distressed mariner。 The casual wards are full of B。A。's； but the
navy can't get enough A。B。's at any price。 What do you say to an organ； by
the way？ Mysterious musicians generally go down well； and I dare say
there's room for a change from veiled ladies； persecuted captains and
indigent earls。 You ought to make a sensation。〃
〃Is it in the nature of melodious sounds upon winding a handle？〃 I
asked； not at the moment grasping with certainty to what organ he
referred。
〃Well； some call them that；〃 he admitted； 〃others don't。 I suppose； now；
you wouldn't care to walk to Brighton with your feet tied together； or your
hair in curl papers； and then get on at a music hall？ Or would there be any
chance of your Legation kidnapping you if it was properly worked？ 'Kong
Ho； the great Chinese Reformer； tells the Story of his Life；'there ought to
be money in it。 Are you a reformer or the leader of a secret society；
Kong？〃
〃On the contrary；〃 I replied； 〃we of our Line have ever been
unflinching in our loyalty to the dynasty of Tsing。〃
〃You ought to have known better； then。 It's a poor business being that
in your country nowadays。 Pity there are no bye…elections on the African
Labour Question； or you'd be snapped up for a procession。〃
To this I replied that although the idea of moving in a processional
triumph would readily ensnare the minds of the light and fantastic； I
should prefer some more literary occupation； submissively adding that in
such a case I would not stiffen my joints against the most menial lot； even
that of blending my voice in a laudatory chorus； or of carrying official
pronouncements about the walls of the city； for it is said with justice； 〃The
starving man does not peel his melon； nor do the parched first wipe round
the edges of the proffered cup。〃
〃If you've set your mind on something literary；〃 said Beveledge
confidently； 〃you have every chance of finishing up in a chorus or carrying
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printed placards about the streets； certainly。 When it comes to that； look
me up in Eastcheap。〃 With this encouraging assurance of my ultimate
success he left me； and rejoicing that I had not fallen into the snare of
opposing a written destiny； I sought the literary quarters of the city。 *
When this person has been able to write of any custom or facet of
existence here in a strain of conscie