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〃invariably attend〃 are ill…chosen； but as I would have uttered them their
inelegance became plain； and this person made eight conscientious
attempts to soften down their harsh modulation by various interchanges。
He was still persevering hopefully when he of chief authority approached
and requested that the one who was thus employed and that same other
would leave the hall tranquilly； as the all…water entertainment was at an
end； and an attending slave was in readiness to extinguish the lanterns。
〃Yet；〃 I protested unassumingly； 〃that which has so far been expressed
is only in the semblance of an introductory ode。 There follow〃
〃You must not argue with the Chair；〃 exclaimed another interposing
his voice。 〃Whatever the Chair rules must be accepted。〃
〃The innuendo is flat…witted；〃 I replied with imperturbable dignity； but
still retaining my hold upon the rail。 〃When this person so far loses his
sense of proportion as to contend with an irrational object； devoid of
faculties； let the barb be cast。 After that introduction dealing with the four
seasons； the twelve gong…strokes of the day are reviewed in a like fashion。
These in turn give place to the days of the month； then the moons of the
year； and finally the years of the cycle。〃
〃That's fair；〃 exclaimed the perverse though well…meaning youth；
whom I was beginning to recognise as the cause of some
misunderstanding among us。 〃If you don't want any more of his poem
and I don't blame youmy pal Ho； who is one of the popular Flip…Flap
Troupe； offers to do some trick cycle…riding on his ears。 What more can
you expect？〃
〃We expect a policeman very soon；〃 replied another severely。 〃He has
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already been sent for。〃
〃In that case；〃 said the one who had so persistently claimed me as an
ally； 〃perhaps I can do you a service by directing him here〃； and leaving
this person to extricate himself by means of a reassuring silence and some
of the larger silver pieces of the Island； he vanished hastily。
With some doubt whether or not this deviation into the society of the
professedly virtuous； ending as it admittedly does in an involvement； may
not be deemed ill…starred； yet hopeful。 KONG HO。
THE THREE GIFTS
Related by Kong Ho on the occasion of the all…water disportment；
under the circumstances previously set forth。
BEYOND the limits of the township of Yang…chow there dwelt a rich
astrologer named Wei。 Reading by his skilful interpretation of the planets
that he would shortly Pass Above； he called his sons Chu； Shan； and Hing
to his side and distributed his wealth impartially among them。 To Chu he
gave his house containing a gold couch； to Shan a river with a boat； to
Hing a field in which grew a prolific orange…tree。 〃Thus provided for；〃 he
continued； 〃you will be able to live together in comfort； the resources of
each supplying the wants of the others in addition to his own requirements。
Therefore when I have departed let it be your first care to sacrifice
everything else I leave； so that I also； in the Upper Air； may not be left
destitute。〃
Now in addition to these three sons Wei also had another； the youngest；
but one of so docile； respectful； and self…effacing a disposition that he was
frequently overlooked to the advantage of his subtle； ambitious； and
ingratiating brothers。 This youth； Kao； thinking that the occasion certainly
called for a momentary relaxation of his usual diffidence； now approached
his father modestly； and begged that he also might be included to some
trivial degree in his bounty。
This reasonable petition involved Wei in an embarrassing perplexity。
Although he had forgotten Kao completely in the division； he had now
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definitely concluded the arrangement； nor； to his failing powers； did it
appear possible to make a just allotment on any other lines。 〃How can a
person profitably cut up an orange…tree； a boat； an inlaid couch； or a
house？〃 he demanded。 〃Who can divide a flowing river； or what but
unending strife can arise from regarding an open field in anything but its
entirety？ Assuredly six cohesive objects cannot be apportioned between
four persons。〃 Yet he could not evade the justice of Kao's implied rebuke；
so drawing to his side a jade cabinet he opened it； and from among the
contents he selected an ebony staff； a paper umbrella； and a fan inscribed
with a mystical sentence。 These three objects he placed in Kao's hands；
and with his last breath signified that he should use them discreetly as the
necessity arose。
When the funeral ceremonies were over； Chu； Shan； and Hing came
together； and soon moulded their covetous thoughts into an agreed
conspiracy。 〃Of what avail would be a boat or a river if this person
sacrificed the nets and appliances by which the fish are ensnared？〃 asked
Shan。 〃How little profit would lie in an orange…tree and a field without
cattle and the implements of husbandry！〃 cried Hing。 〃One cannot occupy
a gold couch in an empty house both by day and night；〃 remarked Chu
stubbornly。 〃How inadequate； therefore； would such a provision be for
three。〃
When Kao understood that his three brothers had resolved to act in this
outrageous manner he did not hesitate to reproach them； but not being able
to contend against him honourably； they met him with ridicule。 〃Do not
attempt to rule us with your wooden staff；〃 they cried contemptuously。
〃Sacrifice IT if your inside is really sincere。 And； in the meanwhile； go and
sit under your paper umbrella and wield your inscribed fan； while we
attend to our couch； our boat； and our orange…tree。〃
〃Truly；〃 thought Kao to himself when they had departed； 〃their words
were irrationally offensive； but among them there may stand out a pointed
edge。 Our magnanimous father is now bereft of both comforts and
necessities； and although an ebony rod is certainly not much in the
circumstances； if this person is really humanely…intentioned he will not
withhold it。〃 With this charitable design Kao build a fire before the couch
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（being desirous； out of his forgiving nature； to associate his eldest brother
in the offering）； and without hesitation sacrificed the most substantial of
his three possessions。
It here becomes necessary to explain that in addition to being an expert
astrologer； Wei was a far…seeing magician。 The rod of unimpressionable
solidity was in reality a charm against decay； and its hidden virtues being
thus destroyed； a contrary state of things naturally arose； so that the next
morning it was found that during the night the gold couch had crumbled
away into a worthless dust。
Even this manifestation did not move the three brothers； although the
geniality of Shan and Hing's countenances froze somewhat towards Chu。
Nevertheless Chu still possessed a house； and by pointing out that they
could live as luxuriantly as before on the resources of the river and the
field and the tree； he succeeded in maintaining his position among them。
After seven days Kao reflected again。 〃This avaricious person still has
two objects； both of which he owes to his revered father's imperishable
influence；〃 he admitted conscience…stricken； 〃while the being in question
has only one。〃 Without delay he took the paper umbrella and
ceremoniously burned it； scattering the ashes this time upon Shan's river。
Like the rod the umbrella also possessed secret virtues； its particular
excellence being a curse against clouds； wind demons； thunderbolts a