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〃Who's killed herself？〃
I do not know why I asked； for I knew whom he meant。 He made an
effort to collect himself。
〃They had a row last night。 He went away。〃
〃Is she dead？〃
〃No； they've taken her to the hospital。〃
〃Then what are you talking about？〃 I cried impatiently。 〃Why did
you say she'd killed herself？〃
〃Don't be cross with me。 I can't tell you anything if you talk to me
like that。〃
I clenched my hands； seeking to control my irritation。 I attempted a
smile。
〃I'm sorry。 Take your time。 Don't hurry； there's a good fellow。〃
His round blue eyes behind the spectacles were ghastly with terror。
The magnifying…glasses he wore distorted them。
〃When the concierge went up this morning to take a letter she could
get no answer to her ring。 She heard someone groaning。 The door wasn't
locked； and she went in。 Blanche was lying on the bed。 She'd been
frightfully sick。 There was a bottle of oxalic acid on the table。〃
Stroeve hid his face in his hands and swayed backwards and forwards；
groaning。
〃Was she conscious？〃
〃Yes。 Oh； if you knew how she's suffering！ I can't bear it。 I can't bear
it。〃
His voice rose to a shriek。
〃Damn it all； you haven't got to bear it；〃 I cried impatiently。 〃She's got
to bear it。〃
〃How can you be so cruel？〃
〃What have you done？〃
〃They sent for a doctor and for me； and they told the police。 I'd given
the concierge twenty francs； and told her to send for me if anything
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The Moon and Sixpence
happened。〃
He paused a minute； and I saw that what he had to tell me was very
hard to say。
〃When I went she wouldn't speak to me。 She told them to send me
away。 I swore that I forgave her everything； but she wouldn't listen。
She tried to beat her head against the wall。 The doctor told me that I
mustn't remain with her。 She kept on saying； ‘Send him away！' I went；
and waited in the studio。 And when the ambulance came and they put her
on a stretcher； they made me go in the kitchen so that she shouldn't know I
was there。〃
While I dressed for Stroeve wished me to go at once with him to the
hospital he told me that he had arranged for his wife to have a private
room； so that she might at least be spared the sordid promiscuity of a ward。
On our way he explained to me why he desired my presence； if she still
refused to see him； perhaps she would see me。 He begged me to repeat
to her that he loved her still； he would reproach her for nothing； but
desired only to help her； he made no claim on her； and on her recovery
would not seek to induce her to return to him； she would be perfectly free。
But when we arrived at the hospital； a gaunt； cheerless building； the
mere sight of which was enough to make one's heart sick； and after being
directed from this official to that； up endless stairs and through long； bare
corridors； found the doctor in charge of the case； we were told that the
patient was too ill to see anyone that day。 The doctor was a little bearded
man in white； with an offhand manner。 He evidently looked upon a case as
a case； and anxious relatives as a nuisance which must be treated with
firmness。 Moreover； to him the affair was commonplace； it was just an
hysterical woman who had quarrelled with her lover and taken poison； it
was constantly happening。 At first he thought that Dirk was the cause of
the disaster； and he was needlessly brusque with him。 When I explained
that he was the husband； anxious to forgive； the doctor looked at him
suddenly； with curious； searching eyes。 I seemed to see in them a hint of
mockery； it was true that Stroeve had the head of the husband who is
deceived。 The doctor faintly shrugged his shoulders。
〃There is no immediate danger；〃 he said； in answer to our questioning。
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〃One doesn't know how much she took。 It may be that she will get off
with a fright。 Women are constantly trying to commit suicide for love；
but generally they take care not to succeed。 It's generally a gesture to
arouse pity or terror in their lover。〃
There was in his tone a frigid contempt。 It was obvious that to him
Blanche Stroeve was only a unit to be added to the statistical list of
attempted suicides in the city of Paris during the current year。 He was
busy； and could waste no more time on us。 He told us that if we came at
a certain hour next day； should Blanche be better； it might be possible for
her husband to see her。
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Chapter XXXV
I scarcely know how we got through that day。 Stroeve could not
bear to be alone； and I exhausted myself in efforts to distract him。 I took
him to the Louvre； and he pretended to look at pictures； but I saw that his
thoughts were constantly with his wife。 I forced him to eat； and after
luncheon I induced him to lie down； but he could not sleep。 He accepted
willingly my invitation to remain for a few days in my apartment。 I gave
him books to read； but after a page or two he would put the book down
and stare miserably into space。 During the evening we played innumerable
games of piquet； and bravely； not to disappoint my efforts； he tried to
appear interested。 Finally I gave him a draught； and he sank into uneasy
slumber。
When we went again to the hospital we saw a nursing sister。 She told
us that Blanche seemed a little better； and she went in to ask if she would
see her husband。 We heard voices in the room in which she lay； and
presently the nurse returned to say that the patient refused to see anyone。
We had told her that if she refused to see Dirk the nurse was to ask if she
would see me； but this she refused also。 Dirk's lips trembled。
〃I dare not insist；〃 said the nurse。 〃She is too ill。 Perhaps in a day or
two she may change her mind。〃
〃Is there anyone else she wants to see？〃 asked Dirk； in a voice so low
it was almost a whisper。
〃She says she only wants to be left in peace。〃
Dirk's hands moved strangely； as though they had nothing to do with
his body； with a movement of their own。
〃Will you tell her that if there is anyone else she wishes to see I will
bring him？ I only want her to be happy。〃
The nurse looked at him with her calm； kind eyes； which had seen all
the horror and pain of the world； and yet； filled with the vision of a world
without sin； remained serene。
〃I will tell her when she is a little calmer。〃
Dirk； filled with compassion； begged her to take the message at once。
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〃It may cure her。 I beseech you to ask her now。〃
With a faint smile of pity； the nurse went back into the room。 We heard
her low voice； and then； in a voice I did not recognise the answer：
〃No。 No。 No。〃
The nurse came out again and shook her head。
〃Was that she who spoke then？〃 I asked。 〃Her voice sounded so
strange。〃
〃It appears that her vocal cords have been burnt by the acid。〃
Dirk gave a low cry of distress。 I asked him to go on and wait for me
at the entrance； for I wanted to say something to the nurse。 He did not
ask what it was； but went silently。 He seemed to have lost all power of
will； he was like an obedient child。
〃Has she told you why she did it？〃 I asked。
〃No。 She won't speak。 She lies on her back quite quietly。 She
doesn't move for hours at a time。 But she cries always。 Her pillow is all
wet。 She's too weak to use a handkerchief； and the tears just run down
her face。〃
It gave me a sudden wrench of the heart…strings。