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!!!!隆堋響頼��紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響��
chuck everything like this�察�they'll be thrown on the streets。
;They've had a good many years of comfort。 It's much more than the
majority of children have。 Besides�察 �somebody will look after them。
When it comes to the point�察�the MacAndrews will pay for their schooling。;
;But aren't you fond of them�拭 �They're such awfully nice kids。 Do
you mean to say you don't want to have anything more to do with them�拭─�
;I liked them all right when they were kids�察�but now they're growing
up I haven't got any particular feeling for them。;
;It's just inhuman。;
;I dare say。;
;You don't seem in the least ashamed。;
;I'm not。;
I tried another tack。
;Everyone will think you a perfect swine。;
;Let them。;
;Won't it mean anything to you to know that people loathe and despise
you�拭─�
;No。;
His brief answer was so scornful that it made my question�察 �natural
though it was�察�seem absurd。 I reflected for a minute or two。
;I wonder if one can live quite comfortably when one's conscious of
the disapproval of one's fellows�拭 �Are you sure it won't begin to worry
you�拭 �Everyone has some sort of a conscience�察�and sooner or later it will
find you out。 Supposing your wife died�察 �wouldn't you be tortured by
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remorse�拭─�
He did not answer�察�and I waited for some time for him to speak。 At
last I had to break the silence myself。
;What have you to say to that�拭─�
;Only that you're a damned fool。;
;At all events�察�you can be forced to support your wife and children�察─�I
retorted�察 �somewhat piqued。 ;I suppose the law has some protection to
offer them。;
;Can the law get blood out of a stone�拭 �I haven't any money。 I've got
about a hundred pounds。;
I began to be more puzzled than before。 It was true that his hotel
pointed to the most straitened circumstances。
;What are you going to do when you've spent that�拭─�
;Earn some。;
He was perfectly cool�察 �and his eyes kept that mocking smile which
made all I said seem rather foolish。 I paused for a little while to consider
what I had better say next。 But it was he who spoke first。
;Why doesn't Amy marry again�拭 �She's comparatively young�察 �and
she's not unattractive。 I can recommend her as an excellent wife。 If she
wants to divorce me I don't mind giving her the necessary grounds。;
Now it was my turn to smile。 He was very cunning�察 �but it was
evidently this that he was aiming at。 He had some reason to conceal the
fact that he had run away with a woman�察 �and he was using every
precaution to hide her whereabouts。 I answered with decision。
;Your wife says that nothing you can do will ever induce her to
divorce you。 She's quite made up her mind。 You can put any possibility
of that definitely out of your head。;
He looked at me with an astonishment that was certainly not feigned。
The smile abandoned his lips�察�and he spoke quite seriously。
;But�察�my dear fellow�察�I don't care。 It doesn't matter a twopenny damn
to me one way or the other。;
I laughed。
;Oh�察�come now�察�you mustn't think us such fools as all that。 We happen
to know that you came away with a woman。;
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He gave a little start�察�and then suddenly burst into a shout of laughter。
He laughed so uproariously that people sitting near us looked round�察�and
some of them began to laugh too。
;I don't see anything very amusing in that。;
;Poor Amy�察─�he grinned。
Then his face grew bitterly scornful。
;What poor minds women have got� �Love。 It's always love。 They
think a man leaves only because he wants others。 Do you think I should be
such a fool as to do what I've done for a woman�拭─�
;Do you mean to say you didn't leave your wife for another woman�拭─�
;Of course not。;
;On your word of honour�拭─�
I don't know why I asked for that。 It was very ingenuous of me。
;On my word of honour。;
;Then�察�what in God's name have you left her for�拭─�
;I want to paint。;
I looked at him for quite a long time。 I did not understand。 I thought
he was mad。 It must be remembered that I was very young�察�and I looked
upon him as a middle´aged man。 I forgot everything but my own
amazement。
;But you're forty。;
;That's what made me think it was high time to begin。;
;Have you ever painted�拭─�
;I rather wanted to be a painter when I was a boy�察�but my father made
me go into business because he said there was no money in art。 I began
to paint a bit a year ago。 For the last year I've been going to some classes
at night。;
;Was that where you went when Mrs。 Strickland thought you were
playing bridge at your club�拭─�
;That's it。;
;Why didn't you tell her�拭─�
;I preferred to keep it to myself。;
;Can you paint�拭─�
;Not yet。 But I shall。 That's why I've come over here。 I couldn't get
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what I wanted in London。 Perhaps I can here。;
;Do you think it's likely that a man will do any good when he starts at
your age�拭 �Most men begin painting at eighteen。;
;I can learn quicker than I could when I was eighteen。;
;What makes you think you have any talent�拭─�
He did not answer for a minute。 His gaze rested on the passing
throng�察�but I do not think he saw it。 His answer was no answer。
;I've got to paint。;
;Aren't you taking an awful chance�拭─�
He looked at me。 His eyes had something strange in them�察�so that I
felt rather uncomfortable。
;How old are you�拭 �Twenty´three�拭─�
It seemed to me that the question was beside the point。 It was natural
that I should take chances�察 �but he was a man whose youth was past�察 �a
stockbroker with a position of respectability�察�a wife and two children。 A
course that would have been natural for me was absurd for him。 I wished
to be quite fair。
;Of course a miracle may happen�察�and you may be a great painter�察�but
you must confess the chances are a million to one against it。 It'll be an
awful sell if at the end you have to acknowledge you've made a hash of it。;
;I've got to paint�察─�he repeated。
;Supposing you're never anything more than third´rate�察�do you think it
will have been worth while to give up everything�拭�After all�察�in any other
walk in life it doesn't matter if you're not very good�察 �you can get along
quite comfortably if you're just adequate�察�but it's different with an artist。;
;You blasted fool�察─�he said。
;I don't see why�察�unless it's folly to say the obvious。;
;I tell you I've got to paint。 I can't help myself。 When a man falls
into the water it doesn't matter how he swims�察�well or badly�此�he's got to get
out or else he'll drown。;
There was real passion in his voice�察 �and in spite of myself I was
impressed。 I seemed to feel in him some vehement power that was
struggling within him�察�it gave me the sensation of something very strong�察�
overmastering�察 �that held him�察 �as it were�察 �against his will。 I could not
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understand。 He seemed really to be possessed of a devil�察�and I felt that it
might suddenly turn and rend him。 Yet he looked ordinary enough。 My
eyes�察 �resting on him curiously�察 �caused him no embarrassment。 I
wondered what a stranger would have taken him to be�察�sitting there in his
old Norfolk jacket and his unbrushed bowler�察�his trousers were baggy�察�his
hands were not clean�察�and his face�察�with the red stubble of the unshaved
chin�察 �the little eyes�察 �and the large�察 �aggressive nose�察 �was uncouth and
coarse。 His mouth was large�察 �his lips were heavy and sensual。