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!!!!隆堋響頼��紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響��
know they only give her commissions because she's so young and pretty�察�
and American。 She amuses them�察�that's all。 Well�察�that cannot last�察�she'll
find it out。 She's too clever a girl�察�and she is too fine a girl to be content
with that long。 Thenthen she'll come back to you。 She feels now that
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she has both you and the others�察�and she's making you wait�此�so wait and be
cheerful。 She's worth waiting for�察�she's young�察�that's all。 She'll see the
difference in time。 But�察�in the meanwhile�察�it would hurry matters a bit if
she thought she had to choose between the new friends and you。;
;She could still keep her friends�察�and marry me�察─�said Carroll�察 �I have
told her that a hundred times。 She could still paint miniatures and marry
me。 But she won't marry me。;
;She won't marry you because she knows she can whenever she wants
to�察─ �cried Marion。 ;Can't you see that�拭 �But if she thought you were
going to marry some one else now�拭─�
;She would be the first to congratulate me�察─ �said Carroll。 He rose
and walked to the fireplace�察�where he leaned with his arm on the mantel。
There was a photograph of Helen Cabot near his hand�察�and he turned this
toward him and stood for some time staring at it。 ;My dear Marion�察─�he
said at last�察 �I've known Helen ever since she was as young as that。
Every year I've loved her more�察�and found new things in her to care for�察�
now I love her more than any other man ever loved any other woman。;
Miss Cavendish shook her head sympathetically。
;Yes�察�I know�察─�she said�察 �that's the way Reggie loves me�察�too。;
Carroll went on as though he had not heard her。
;There's a bench in St。 James's Park�察─�he said�察 �where we used to sit
when she first came here�察 �when she didn't know so many people。 We
used to go there in the morning and throw penny buns to the ducks。
That's been my amusement this summer since you've all been away
sitting on that bench�察�feeding penny buns to the silly ducksespecially the
black one�察�the one she used to like best。 And I make pilgrimages to all
the other places we ever visited together�察�and try to pretend she is with me。
And I support the crossing sweeper at Lansdowne Passage because she
once said she felt sorry for him。 I do all the other absurd things that a
man in love tortures himself by doing。 But to what end�拭 �She knows
how I care�察�and yet she won't see why we can't go on being friends as we
once were。 What's the use of it all�拭 ─�
;She is young�察 �I tell you�察─ �repeated Miss Cavendish�察 �and she's too
sure of you。 You've told her you care�察 �now try making her think you
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don't care。;
Carroll shook his head impatiently。
;I will not stoop to such tricks and pretence�察 �Marion�察─ �he cried
impatiently。 ;All I have is my love for her�察�if I have to cheat and to trap
her into caring�察�the whole thing would be degraded。;
Miss Cavendish shrugged her shoulders and walked to the door。
;Such amateurs� ─�she exclaimed�察�and banged the door after her。
Carroll never quite knew how he had come to make a confidante of
Miss Cavendish。 Helen and he had met her when they first arrived in
London�察 �and as she had acted for a season in the United States�察 �she
adopted the two Americansand told Helen where to go for boots and hats�察�
and advised Carroll about placing his plays。 Helen soon made other
friends�察�and deserted the artists�察�with whom her work had first thrown her。
She seemed to prefer the society of the people who bought her paintings�察�
and who admired and made much of the painter。 As she was very
beautiful and at an age when she enjoyed everything in life keenly and
eagerly�察 �to give her pleasure was in itself a distinct pleasure�察 �and the
worldly tired people she met were considering their own entertainment
quite as much as hers when they asked her to their dinners and dances�察�or
to spend a week with them in the country。 In her way�察 �she was as
independent as was Carroll in his�察�and as she was not in love�察�as he was�察�
her life was not narrowed down to but one ideal。 But she was not so
young as to consider herself infallible�察�and she had one excellent friend on
whom she was dependent for advice and to whose directions she
submitted implicitly。 This was Lady Gower�察 �the only person to whom
Helen had spoken of Carroll and of his great feeling for her。 Lady Gower�察�
immediately after her marriage�察 �had been a conspicuous and brilliant
figure in that set in London which works eighteen hours a day to keep
itself amused�察�but after the death of her husband she had disappeared into
the country as completely as though she had entered a convent�察�and after
several years had then re´entered the world as a professional philanthropist。
Her name was now associated entirely with Women's Leagues�察 �with
committees that presented petitions to Parliament�察 �and with public
meetings�察�at which she spoke with marvellous ease and effect。 Her old
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friends said she had taken up this new pose as an outlet for her nervous
energies�察 �and as an effort to forget the man who alone had made life
serious to her。 Others knew her as an earnest woman�察�acting honestly for
what she thought was right。 Her success�察 �all admitted�察 �was due to her
knowledge of the world and to her sense of humor�察�which taught her with
whom to use her wealth and position�察 �and when to demand what she
wanted solely on the ground that the cause was just。
She had taken more than a fancy for Helen�察 �and the position of the
beautiful�察�motherless girl had appealed to her as one filled with dangers。
When she grew to know Helen better�察�she recognized that these fears were
quite unnecessary�察�and as she saw more of her she learned to care for her
deeply。 Helen had told her much of Carroll and of his double purpose in
coming to London�察�of his brilliant work and his lack of success in having
it recognized�察�and of his great and loyal devotion to her�察�and of his lack of
success�察�not in having that recognized�察�but in her own inability to return it。
Helen was proud that she had been able to make Carroll care for her as he
did�察 �and that there was anything about her which could inspire a man
whom she admired so much�察�to believe in her so absolutely and for so long
a time。 But what convinced her that the outcome for which he hoped was
impossible�察�was the very fact that she could admire him�察�and see how fine
and unselfish his love for her was�察�and yet remain untouched by it。
She had been telling Lady Gower one day of the care he had taken of
her ever since she was fourteen years of age�察�and had quoted some of the
friendly and loverlike acts he had performed in her service�察�until one day
they had both found out that his attitude of the elder brother was no longer
possible�察 �and that he loved her in the old and only way。 Lady Gower
looked at her rather doubtfully and smiled。
;I wish you would bring him to see me�察 �Helen; she said�察 �I think I
should like your friend very much。 From what you tell me of him I doubt
if you will find many such men waiting for you in this country。 Our men
marry for reasons of property�察�or they love blindly�察�and are exacting and
selfish before and after they are married。 I know�察 �because so many
women came to me when my husband was alive to ask how it was that I
continued so happy in my married life。;
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