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Claud。 I' faith； I thank him； he hath bid me to a calve's head and a
capon； the which if I do not carve most curiously； say my knife's naught。
Shall I not find a woodcock too？
Bene。 Sir； your wit ambles well； it goes easily。
Pedro。 I'll tell thee how Beatrice prais'd thy wit the other day。 I said
thou hadst a fine wit： 'True；' said she； 'a fine little one。' 'No；' said I； 'a great
wit。' 'Right；' says she； 'a great gross one。' 'Nay；' said I； 'a good wit。' 'Just；'
said she； 'it hurts nobody。' 'Nay；' said I； 'the gentleman is wise。' 'Certain；'
said she； a wise gentleman。' 'Nay；' said I； 'he hath the tongues。' 'That I
believe' said she； 'for he swore a thing to me on Monday night which he
forswore on Tuesday morning。 There's a double tongue； there's two
tongues。' Thus did she an hour together transshape thy particular virtues。
Yet at last she concluded with a sigh； thou wast the proper'st man in Italy。
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Claud。 For the which she wept heartily and said she cared not。
Pedro。 Yea； that she did； but yet； for all that； an if she did not hate him
deadly； she would love him dearly。 The old man's daughter told us all。
Claud。 All； all！ and moreover； God saw him when he was hid in the
garden。
Pedro。 But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on the sensible
Benedick's head？
Claud。 Yea； and text underneath； 'Here dwells Benedick； the married
man'？
Bene。 Fare you well； boy； you know my mind。 I will leave you now to
your gossiplike humour。 You break jests as braggards do their blades；
which God be thanked hurt not。 My lord； for your many courtesies I thank
you。 I must discontinue your company。 Your brother the bastard is fled
from Messina。 You have among you kill'd a sweet and innocent lady。 For
my Lord Lackbeard there； he and I shall meet； and till then peace be with
him。 ＇Exit。＇
Pedro。 He is in earnest。
Claud。 In most profound earnest； and； I'll warrant you； for the love of
Beatrice。
Pedro。 And hath challeng'd thee。
Claud。 Most sincerely。
Pedro。 What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his doublet and
hose and leaves off his wit！ ＇Enter Constables Dogberry and Verges； with
the Watch； leading Conrade and Borachio。＇
Claud。 He is then a giant to an ape； but then is an ape a doctor to such
a man。
Pedro。 But； soft you； let me be！ Pluck up； my heart； and be sad！ Did he
not say my brother was fled？
Dog。 Come you； sir。 If justice cannot tame you； she shall ne'er weigh
more reasons in her balance。 Nay； an you be a cursing hypocrite once； you
must be look'd to。
Pedro。 How now？ two of my brother's men bound？ Borachio one。
Claud。 Hearken after their offence； my lord。
Pedro。 Officers； what offence have these men done？
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Dog。 Marry； sir； they have committed false report； moreover； they have
spoken untruths； secondarily； they are slanders； sixth and lastly； they have
belied a lady； thirdly； they have verified unjust things； and to conclude；
they are lying knaves。
Pedro。 First； I ask thee what they have done； thirdly； I ask thee what's
their offence； sixth and lastly； why they are committed； and to conclude；
what you lay to their charge。
Claud。 Rightly reasoned； and in his own division； and by my troth
there's one meaning well suited。
Pedro。 Who have you offended； masters； that you are thus bound to
your answer？ This learned constable is too cunning to be understood。
What's your offence？
Bora。 Sweet Prince； let me go no farther to mine answer。 Do you hear
me； and let this Count kill me。 I have deceived even your very eyes。 What
your wisdoms could not discover； these shallow fools have brought to
light； who in the night overheard me confessing to this man； how Don
John your brother incensed me to slander the Lady Hero； how you were
brought into the orchard and saw me court Margaret in Hero's garments；
how you disgrac'd her when you should marry her。 My villany they have
upon record； which I had rather seal with my death than repeat over to my
shame。 The lady is dead upon mine and my master's false accusation； and
briefly； I desire nothing but the reward of a villain。
Pedro。 Runs not this speech like iron through your blood？
Claud。 I have drunk poison whiles he utter'd it。 Pedro。
But did my brother set thee on to this？
Bora。 Yea； and paid me richly for the practice of it。
Pedro。 He is compos'd and fram'd of treachery； And fled he is upon
this villany。
Claud。 Sweet Hero； now thy image doth appear In the rare semblance
that I lov'd it first。
Dog。 Come； bring away the plaintiffs。 By this time our sexton hath
reformed Signior Leonato of the matter。 And； masters； do not forget to
specify； when time and place shall serve； that I am an ass。
Verg。 Here； here comes Master Signior Leonato； and the sexton too。
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＇Enter Leonato； his brother ＇Antonio＇； and the Sexton。＇
Leon。 Which is the villain？ Let me see his eyes； That； when I note
another man like him； I may avoid him。 Which of these is he？
Bora。 If you would know your wronger； look on me。
Leon。 Art thou the slave that with thy breath hast kill'd Mine innocent
child？
Bora。 Yea； even I alone。
Leon。 No； not so； villain！ thou beliest thyself。 Here stand a pair of
honourable men A third is fledthat had a hand in it。 I thank you princes
for my daughter's death。 Record it with your high and worthy deeds。 'Twas
bravely done； if you bethink you of it。
Claud。 I know not how to pray your patience； Yet I must speak。
Choose your revenge yourself； Impose me to what penance your invention
Can lay upon my sin。 Yet sinn'd I not But in mistaking。
Pedro。 By my soul； nor I！ And yet； to satisfy this good old man； I
would bend under any heavy weight That he'll enjoin me to。
Leon。 I cannot bid you bid my daughter live… That were impossible；
but I pray you both； Possess the people in Messina here How innocent she
died； and if your love Can labour aught in sad invention； Hang her an
epitaph upon her tomb； And sing it to her bonessing it to…night。 To…
morrow morning come you to my house； And since you could not be my
son…in…law； Be yet my nephew。 My brother hath a daughter； Almost the
copy of my child that's dead； And she alone is heir to both of us。 Give her
the right you should have giv'n her cousin； And so dies my revenge。
Claud。 O noble sir！ Your over…kindness doth wring tears from me。 I do
embrace your offer； and dispose For henceforth of poor Claudio。
Leon。 To…morrow then I will expect your coming； To…night I take my
leave。 This naughty man Shall fact to face be brought to Margaret； Who I
believe was pack'd in all this wrong； Hir'd to it by your brother。
Bora。 No； by my soul； she was not； Nor knew not what she did when
she spoke to me； But always hath been just and virtuous In anything that I
do know by her。 Dog。 Moreover； sir； which indeed is not under white and
black； this plaintiff here； the offender； did call me ass。 I beseech you let it
be rememb'red in his punishment。 And also the watch heard them talk of
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one Deformed。 They say he wears a key in his ear； and a lock hanging by
it； and borrows money in God's name； the which he hath us'd so long and
never paid that now men grow hard…hearted and will lend nothing for
God's sake。 Pray you examine him upon that point。
Leon。 I thank thee for thy care and honest pains。
Dog。 Your worship speaks like a most thankful and reverent youth； and
I praise God for you。
Leon。 There's for thy pains。 ＇Gives money。＇
Dog。 God save the foundation！
Leon。 Go； I discharge thee of thy prisoner； and I thank thee。
Dog。 I leave an arrant knave with your worship； which I beseech your
worship to correct yoursel