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The fact that no titles are recognized officially by the French
government （the most they can obtain being a 〃courtesy〃 recognition） has
placed these people in a singularly false position。 An American girl who
has married a Duke is a good deal astonished to find that she is legally
only plain 〃Madame So and So；〃 that when her husband does his military
service there is no trace of the high…sounding title to be found in his
official papers。 Some years ago； a colonel was rebuked because he allowed
the Duc d'Alencon to be addressed as 〃Monseigneur〃 by the other officers
of his regiment。 This ought to make ambitious papas reflect； when they
treat themselves to titled sons…in…law。 They should at least try and get an
article recognized by the law。
Most of what is written here is perfectly well known to resident
Americans in Paris； and has been the cause of gradually splitting that once
harmonious settlement into two perfectly distinct camps； between which
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no love is lost。 The members of one； clinging to their countrymen's creed
of having the best or nothing； have been contented to live in France and
know but few French people； entertaining among themselves and marrying
their daughters to Americans。 The members of the other； who have 〃gone
in〃 for French society； take what they can get； and； on the whole； lead very
jolly lives。 It often happens （perhaps it is only a coincidence） that ladies
who have not been very successful at home are partial to this circle； where
they easily find guests for their entertainments and the recognition their
souls long for。
What the future of the 〃Great Faubourg〃 will be； it is hard to say。 All
hope of a possible RESTAURATION appears to be lost。 Will the proud
necks that refused to bend to the Orleans dynasty or the two 〃empires〃
bow themselves to the republican yoke？ It would seem as if it must
terminate in this way； for everything in this world must finish。 But the end
is not yet； one cannot help feeling sympathy for people who are trying to
live up to their traditions and be true to such immaterial idols as 〃honor〃
and 〃family〃 in this discouragingly material age； when everything goes
down before the Golden Calf。 Nor does one wonder that men who can
trace their ancestors back to the Crusades should hesitate to ally
themselves with the last rich PARVENU who has raised himself from the
gutter； or resent the ardor with which the latest importation of American
ambition tries to chum with them and push its way into their life。
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CHAPTER 31 … Men's Manners
NOTHING makes one feel so old as to wake up suddenly； as it were；
and realize that the conditions of life have changed； and that the standards
you knew and accepted in your youth have been raised or lowered。 The
young men you meet have somehow become uncomfortably polite；
offering you armchairs in the club； and listening with a shade of deference
to your stories。 They are of another generation； their ways are not your
ways； nor their ambitions those you had in younger days。 One is tempted
to look a little closer； to analyze what the change is； in what this subtle
difference consists； which you feel between your past and their present。
You are surprised and a little angry to discover that； among other things；
young men have better manners than were general among the youths of
fifteen years ago。
Anyone over forty can remember three epochs in men's manners。
When I was a very young man； there were still going about in society a
number of gentlemen belonging to what was reverently called the 〃old
school；〃 who had evidently taken Sir Charles Grandison as their model；
read Lord Chesterfield's letters to his son with attention； and been brought
up to commence letters to their fathers； 〃Honored Parent；〃 signing
themselves 〃Your humble servant and respectful son。〃 There are a few
such old gentlemen still to be found in the more conservative clubs； where
certain windows are tacitly abandoned to these elegant…mannered fossils。
They are quite harmless unless you happen to find them in a reminiscent
mood； when they are apt to be a little tiresome； it takes their rusty mental
machinery so long to get working！ Washington possesses a particularly
fine collection among the retired army and navy officers and ex…officials。
It is a fact well known that no one drawing a pension ever dies。
About 1875； a new generation with new manners began to make its
appearance。 A number of its members had been educated at English
universities； and came home burning to upset old ways and teach their
elders how to live。 They broke away from the old clubs and started smaller
and more exclusive circles among themselves； principally in the country。
This was a period of bad manners。 True to their English model； they
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considered it 〃good form〃 to be uncivil and to make no effort towards the
general entertainment when in society。 Not to speak more than a word or
two during a dinner party to either of one's neighbors was the supreme
CHIC。 As a revolt from the twice…told tales of their elders they held it to
be 〃bad form〃 to tell a story； no matter how fresh and amusing it might be。
An unfortunate outsider who ventured to tell one in their club was crushed
by having his tale received in dead silence。 When it was finished one of
the party would 〃ring the bell；〃 and the circle order drinks at the expense
of the man who had dared to amuse them。 How the professional story…
teller must have shuddered … he whose story never was ripe until it had
been told a couple of hundred times； and who would produce a certain tale
at a certain course as surely as clock…work。
That the story…telling type was a bore； I grant。 To be grabbed on
entering your club and obliged to listen to Smith's last； or to have the
conversation after dinner monopolized by Jones and his eternal 〃Speaking
of coffee； I remember once；〃 etc。 added an additional hardship to existence。
But the opposite pose； which became the fashion among the reformers；
was hardly less wearisome。 To sit among a group of perfectly mute men；
with an occasional word dropping into the silence like a stone in a well；
was surely little better。
A girl told me she had once sat through an entire cotillion with a youth
whose only remark during the evening had been （after absorbed
contemplation of the articles in question）； 〃How do you like my socks？〃
On another occasion my neighbor at table said to me：
〃I think the man on my right has gone to sleep。 He is sitting with his
eyes closed！〃 She was mistaken。 He was practising his newly acquired
〃repose of manner；〃 and living up to the standard of his set。
The model young man of that period had another offensive habit； his
pose of never seeing you； which got on the nerves of his elders to a
considerable extent。 If he came into a drawing…room where you were
sitting with a lady； he would shake hands with her and begin a
conversation； ignoring your existence； although you may have been his
guest at dinner the night before； or he yours。 This was also a tenet of his
creed borrowed from trans…Atlantic cousins； who； by the bye； during the
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time I speak of； found America； and especially our Eastern states； a happy
hunting…ground； … all the clubs； country houses； and society generally
opening their doors to the 〃sesame〃 of English nationality。 It took our