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going to give you to…morrow； in honor of Christmas。 Glance over this
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MENU。 You will see that it enumerates every costly and delicate article of
food possible to procure and a long list of other dishes； the greater part of
which will not even be called for。 As no number of CHEFS could possibly
oversee the proper preparation of such a variety of meats and sauces； all
will be carelessly cooked； and as you know by experience； poorly served。
〃People who exact useless variety；〃 he added； 〃are sure in some way to
be the sufferers； in their anxiety to try everything； they will get nothing
worth eating。 Yet that meal will cost me considerably more than my guests
pay for their twenty…four hours' board and lodging。〃
〃Why do it； you ask？ Because it is the custom； and because it will be
an advertisement。 These bills of fare will be sown broadcast over the
country in letters to friends and kept as souvenirs。 If； instead of all this
senseless superfluity； I were allowed to give a TABLE D'HOTE meal to…
morrow； with the CHEF I have； I could provide an exquisite dinner；
perfect in every detail； served at little tables as deftly and silently as in a
private house。 I could also discharge half of my waiters； and charge two
dollars a day instead of five dollars； and the hotel would become （what it
has never been yet） a paying investment； so great would he the saving。〃
〃Only this morning；〃 he continued； warming to his subject； 〃while
standing in the dining room； I saw a young man order and then send away
half the dishes on the MENU。 A chicken was broiled for him and rejected；
a steak and an omelette fared no better。 How much do you suppose a hotel
gains from a guest like that？〃
〃The reason Americans put up with such poor viands in hotels is； that
home cooking in this country is so rudimentary； consisting principally of
fried dishes； and hot breads。 So little is known about the proper
preparation of food that tomorrow's dinner will appear to many as the NE
PLUS ULTRA of delicate living。 One of the charms of a hotel for people
who live poorly at home； lies in this power to order expensive dishes they
rarely or never see on their own tables。〃
〃To be served with a quantity of food that he has but little desire to eat
is one of an American citizen's dearest privileges； and a right he will most
unwillingly relinquish。 He may know as well as you and I do； that what he
calls for will not be worth eating； that is of secondary importance； he has it
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before him； and is contented。〃
〃The hotel that attempted limiting the liberty of its guests to the extent
of serving them a TABLE D'HOTE dinner； would be emptied in a week。〃
〃A crowning incongruity； as most people are delighted to dine with
friends； or at public functions； where the meal is invariably served A LA
RUSSE （another name for a TABLE D'HOTE）； and on these occasions are
only too glad to have their MENU chosen for them。 The present way；
however； is a remnant of 'old times' and the average American； with all his
love of change and novelty； is very conservative when it comes to his
table。〃
What this manager did not confide to me； but what I discovered later
for myself； was that to facilitate the service； and avoid confusion in the
kitchens； it had become the custom at all the large and most of the small
hotels in this country； to carve the joints； cut up the game； and portion out
vegetables； an hour or two before meal time。 The food； thus arranged； is
placed in vast steam closets； where it simmers gayly for hours； in its own；
and fifty other vapors。
Any one who knows the rudiments of cookery； will recognize that with
this system no viand can have any particular flavor； the partridges having a
taste of their neighbor the roast beef； which in turn suggests the plum
pudding it has been 〃chumming〃 with。
It is not alone in a hotel that we miss the good in grasping after the
better。 Small housekeeping is apparently run on the same lines。
A young Frenchman； who was working in my rooms； told me in reply
to a question regarding prices； that every kind of food was cheaper here
than abroad； but the prejudice against certain dishes was so strong in this
country that many of the best things in the markets were never called for。
Our nation is no longer in its 〃teens〃 and should cease to act like a foolish
boy who has inherited （what appears to him） a limitless fortune； not for
fear of his coming； like his prototype in the parable； to live on 〃husks〃 for
he is doing that already； but lest like the dog of the fable； in grasping after
the shadow of a banquet he miss the simple meal that is within his reach。
One of the reasons for this deplorable state of affairs lies in the foolish
education our girls receive。 They learn so little housekeeping at home； that
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when married they are obliged to begin all over again； unless they prefer；
like a majority of their friends； to let things as go at the will and discretion
of the 〃lady〃 below stairs。
At both hotels I have referred to； the families of the men interested
considered it beneath them to know what was taking place。 The 〃daughter〃
of the New England house went semi…weekly to Boston to take violin
lessons at ten dollars each； although she had no intention of becoming a
professional； while the wife wrote poetry and ignored the hotel side of her
life entirely。
The 〃better half〃 of the Florida establishment hired a palace in Rome
and entertained ambassadors。 Hotels divided against themselves are apt to
be establishments where you pay for riotous living and are served only
with husks。
We have many hard lessons ahead of us； and one of the hardest will be
for our nation to learn humbly from the thrifty emigrants on our shores；
the great art of utilizing the 〃tails〃 that are at this moment being so
recklessly thrown away。
As it is； in spite of markets overflowing with every fish； vegetable； and
tempting viand； we continue to be the worst fed； most meagrely nourished
of all the wealthy nations on the face of the earth。 We have a saying （for an
excellent reason unknown on the Continent） that Providence provides us
with food and the devil sends the cooks！ It would be truer to say that the
poorer the food resources of a nation； the more restricted the choice of
material； the better the cooks； a small latitude when providing for the table
forcing them to a hundred clever combinations and mysterious devices to
vary the monotony of their cuisine and tempt a palate； by custom staled。
Our heedless people； with great variety at their disposition； are
unequal to the situation； wasting and discarding the best； and making
absolutely nothing of their advantages。 If we were enjoying our
prodigality by living on the fat of the land； there would be less reason to
reproach ourselves； for every one has a right to live as he pleases。 But as it
is； our foolish prodigals are spending their substance； while eating the
husks！
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CHAPTER 30 … The Faubourg of St。
Germain
THERE has been too much said and written in the last dozen years
about breaking down the 〃great wall〃 behind which the aristocrats of the
famous Faubourg； like the Celestials； their prototypes； have ensconced
themselves。 The Chinese speak of outsiders as 〃barbarians。〃 The French
ladies refer to such unfortunates as being 〃beyond the pale。〃 Almost all
that has been written is arrant nonsense； that imaginary barrier exists to…
day on as firm a foundation； and is guarded by sentinels as vigilant as
when； forty years ago； Napoleon （third of the name） and his Spanish
spouse mounted to its assault。
Their repulse was a bitter humiliation to the PARVENUE Empress