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Marguerite is in need of。;
;I have told you�此�thirty thousand francs。;
;And when does she require this sum�拭─�
;Before the end of two months。;
;She shall have it。;
Prudence shrugged her shoulders。
;I will give it to you�察─�I continued�察 �but you must swear to me that you
will not tell Marguerite that I have given it to you。;
;Don't be afraid。;
;And if she sends you anything else to sell or pawn�察�let me know。;
;There is no danger。 She has nothing left。;
I went straight to my own house to see if there were any letters from
my father。 There were four。
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CHAPTER 19
In his first three letters my father inquired the cause of my silence�察�in
the last he allowed me to see that he had heard of my change of life�察�and
informed me that he was about to come and see me。
I have always had a great respect and a sincere affection for my father。
I replied that I had been travelling for a short time�察�and begged him to let
me know beforehand what day he would arrive�察�so that I could be there to
meet him。
I gave my servant my address in the country�察�telling him to bring me
the first letter that came with the postmark of C。�察 �then I returned to
Bougival。
Marguerite was waiting for me at the garden gate。 She looked at me
anxiously。 Throwing her arms round my neck�察�she said to me�此 �Have you
seen Prudence�拭─�
;No。;
;You were a long time in Paris。;
;I found letters from my father to which I had to reply。;
A few minutes afterward Nanine entered�察�all out of breath。 Marguerite
rose and talked with her in whispers。 When Nanine had gone out
Marguerite sat down by me again and said�察�taking my hand�此�
;Why did you deceive me�拭�You went to see Prudence。;
;Who told you�拭─�
;Nanine。;
;And how did she know�拭─�
;She followed you。;
;You told her to follow me�拭─�
;Yes。 I thought that you must have had a very strong motive for going
to Paris�察�after not leaving me for four months。 I was afraid that something
might happen to you�察 �or that you were perhaps going to see another
woman。;
;Child� ─�
;Now I am relieved。 I know what you have done�察�but I don't yet know
what you have been told。;
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I showed Marguerite my father's letters。
;That is not what I am asking you about。 What I want to know is why
you went to see Prudence。;
;To see her。; ;That's a lie�察�my friend。;
;Well�察�I went to ask her if the horse was any better�察�and if she wanted
your shawl and your jewels any longer。;
Marguerite blushed�察�but did not answer。
;And�察─ �I continued�察 �I learned what you had done with your horses�察�
shawls�察�and jewels。;
;And you are vexed�拭─�
;I am vexed that it never occurred to you to ask me for what you were
in want of。;
;In a liaison like ours�察�if the woman has any sense of dignity at all�察�she
ought to make every possible sacrifice rather than ask her lover for money
and so give a venal character to her love。 You love me�察�I am sure�察�but you
do not know on how slight a thread depends the love one has for a woman
like me。 Who knows�拭�Perhaps some day when you were bored or worried
you would fancy you saw a carefully concerted plan in our liaison。
Prudence is a chatterbox。 What need had I of the horses�拭 �It was an
economy to sell them。 I don't use them and I don't spend anything on their
keep�察�if you love me�察 �I ask nothing more�察 �and you will love me just as
much without horses�察�or shawls�察�or diamonds。;
All that was said so naturally that the tears came to my eyes as I
listened。
;But�察 �my good Marguerite�察─ �I replied�察 �pressing her hands lovingly�察�
;you knew that one day I should discover the sacrifice you had made�察�and
that the moment I discovered it I should allow it no longer。;
;But why�拭─�
;Because�察 �my dear child�察 �I can not allow your affection for me to
deprive you of even a trinket。 I too should not like you to be able�察�in a
moment when you were bored or worried�察�to think that if you were living
with somebody else those moments would not exist�察�and to repent�察�if only
for a minute�察�of living with me。 In a few days your horses�察�your diamonds�察�
and your shawls shall be returned to you。 They are as necessary to you as
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air is to life�察 �and it may be absurd�察 �but I like you better showy than
simple。;
;Then you no longer love me。;
;Foolish creature� ─�
;If you loved me�察 �you would let me love you my own way�察 �on the
contrary�察 �you persist in only seeing in me a woman to whom luxury is
indispensable�察�and whom you think you are always obliged to pay。 You are
ashamed to accept the proof of my love。 In spite of yourself�察�you think of
leaving me some day�察�and you want to put your disinterestedness beyond
risk of suspicion。 You are right�察�my friend�察�but I had better hopes。;
And Marguerite made a motion to rise�察�I held her�察�and said to her�此�
;I want you to be happy and to have nothing to reproach me for�察�that is
all。;
;And we are going to be separated� ─�
;Why�察�Marguerite�察�who can separate us�拭─�I cried。
;You�察�who will not let me take you on your own level�察�but insist on
taking me on mine�察�you�察�who wish me to keep the luxury in the midst of
which I have lived�察�and so keep the moral distance which separates us�察�you�察�
who do not believe that my affection is sufficiently disinterested to share
with me what you have�察 �though we could live happily enough on it
together�察�and would rather ruin yourself�察�because you are still bound by a
foolish prejudice。 Do you really think that I could compare a carriage and
diamonds with your love�拭�Do you think that my real happiness lies in the
trifles that mean so much when one has nothing to love�察�but which become
trifling indeed when one has�拭�You will pay my debts�察�realize your estate�察�
and then keep me�拭�How long will that last�拭�Two or three months�察�and then
it will be too late to live the life I propose�察�for then you will have to take
everything from me�察�and that is what a man of honour can not do�察�while
now you have eight or ten thousand francs a year�察�on which we should be
able to live。 I will sell the rest of what I do not want�察�and with this alone I
will make two thousand francs a year。 We will take a nice little flat in
which we can both live。 In the summer we will go into the country�察�not to
a house like this�察�but to a house just big enough for two people。 You are
independent�察�I am free�察�we are young�察�in heaven's name�察�Armand�察�do not
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drive me back into the life I had to lead once� ─�
I could not answer。 Tears of gratitude and love filled my eyes�察�and I
flung myself into Marguerite's arms。
;I wanted�察─�she continued�察 �to arrange everything without telling you�察�
pay all my debts�察 �and take a new flat。 In October we should have been
back in Paris�察�and all would have come out�察�but since Prudence has told
you all�察�you will have to agree beforehand�察�instead of agreeing afterward。
Do you love me enough for that�拭─�
It was impossible to resist such devotion。 I kissed her hands ardently�察�
and said�此�
;I will do whatever you wish。;
It was agreed that we should do as she had planned。 Thereupon�察�she
went wild with delight�察 �danced�察 �sang�察 �amused herself with calling up
pictures of her new flat in all its simplicity�察�and began to consult me as to
its position and arrangement。 I saw how happy and proud she was of this
resolution�察 �which seemed as if it would bring us into closer and closer
relationship�察�and I resolved to do my own share。 In an instant I decided the
whole course of my life。 I put my affairs in order�察 �and made over to
Marguerite the income which had come to me from my mother�察�and which
seemed little enough in return for the s