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The more I reflected the more I said to myself that Marguerite had no
reason for feigning a love which she did not feel； and I said to myself also
that women have two ways of loving； one of which may arise from the
other： they love with the heart or with the senses。 Often a woman takes a
lover in obedience to the mere will of the senses； and learns without
expecting it the mystery of immaterial love； and lives henceforth only
through her heart； often a girl who has sought in marriage only the union
of two pure affections receives the sudden revelation of physical love； that
energetic conclusion of the purest impressions of the soul。
In the midst of these thoughts I fell asleep； I was awakened by a letter
from Marguerite containing these words：
〃Here are my orders： To…night at the Vaudeville。
〃Come during the third entr'acte。〃
I put the letter into a drawer； so that I might always have it at band in
case I doubted its reality； as I did from time to time。
She did not tell me to come to see her during the day； and I dared not
go； but I had so great a desire to see her before the evening that I went to
the Champs…Elysees； where I again saw her pass and repass； as I had on
the previous day。
At seven o'clock I was at the Vaudeville。 Never had I gone to a theatre
so early。 The boxes filled one after another。 Only one remained empty； the
stage box。 At the beginning of the third act I heard the door of the box； on
which my eyes had been almost constantly fixed； open； and Marguerite
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appeared。 She came to the front at once； looked around the stalls； saw me；
and thanked me with a look。
That night she was marvellously beautiful。 Was I the cause of this
coquetry？ Did she love me enough to believe that the more beautiful she
looked the happier I should be？ I did not know； but if that had been her
intention she certainly succeeded； for when she appeared all heads turned；
and the actor who was then on the stage looked to see who had produced
such an effect on the audience by her mere presence there。
And I had the key of this woman's room； and in three or four hours she
would again be mine！
People blame those who let themselves be ruined by actresses and kept
women； what astonishes me is that twenty times greater follies are not
committed for them。 One must have lived that life； as I have； to know how
much the little vanities which they afford their lovers every day help to
fasten deeper into the heart； since we have no other word for it； the love
which he has for them。
Prudence next took her place in the box； and a man； whom I
recognised as the Comte de G。； seated himself at the back。 As I saw him； a
cold shiver went through my heart。
Doubtless Marguerite perceived the impression made on me by the
presence of this man； for she smiled to me again； and； turning her back to
the count； appeared to be very attentive to the play。 At the third entr'acte
she turned and said two words： the count left the box； and Marguerite
beckoned to me to come to her。
〃Good…evening；〃 she said as I entered； holding out her hand。
〃Good…evening；〃 I replied to both Marguerite and Prudence。
〃Sit down。〃
〃But I am taking some one's place。 Isn't the Comte de G。 coming
back？〃
〃Yes； I sent him to fetch some sweets； so that we could talk by
ourselves for a moment。 Mme。 Duvernoy is in the secret。〃
〃Yes； my children；〃 said she； 〃have no fear。 I shall say nothing。〃
〃What is the matter with you to…night？〃 said Marguerite； rising and
coming to the back of the box and kissing me on the forehead。
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〃I am not very well。〃
〃You should go to bed；〃 she replied； with that ironical air which went
so well with her delicate and witty face。
〃Where？〃
〃At home。〃
〃You know that I shouldn't be able to sleep there。〃
〃Well； then； it won't do for you to come and be pettish here because
you have seen a man in my box。〃
〃It is not for that reason。〃
〃Yes； it is。 I know； and you are wrong； so let us say no more about it。
You will go back with Prudence after the theatre； and you will stay there
till I call。 Do you understand？〃
〃Yes。〃
How could I disobey？
〃You still love me？〃
〃Can you ask？〃
〃You have thought of me？〃
〃All day long。〃
〃Do you know that I am really afraid that I shall get very fond of you？
Ask Prudence。〃
〃Ah；〃 said she； 〃it is amazing！〃
〃Now； you must go back to your seat。 The count will be coming back；
and there is nothing to be gained by his finding you here。〃 〃Because you
don't like seeing him。〃
〃No； only if you had told me that you wanted to come to the
Vaudeville to…night I could have got this box for you as well as he。〃
〃Unfortunately； he got it for me without my asking him； and he asked
me to go with him； you know well enough that I couldn't refuse。 All I
could do was to write and tell you where I was going； so that you could
see me； and because I wanted to see you myself； but since this is the way
you thank me； I shall profit by the lesson。〃
〃I was wrong； forgive me。〃
〃Well and good； and now go back nicely to your place； and； above all；
no more jealousy。〃
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She kissed me again； and I left the box。 In the passage I met the count
coming back。 I returned to my seat。
After all； the presence of M。 de G。 in Marguerite's box was the most
natural thing in the world。 He had been her lover； he sent her a box； he
accompanied her to the theatre； it was all quite natural； and if I was to
have a mistress like Marguerite I should have to get used to her ways。
Nonetheless； I was very unhappy all the rest of the evening； and went
away very sadly after having seen Prudence； the count； and Marguerite get
into the carriage； which was waiting for them at the door。
However； a quarter of an hour later I was at Prudence's。 She had only
just got in。
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CHAPTER 13
〃You have come almost as quickly as we；〃 said Prudence。
〃Yes；〃 I answered mechanically。 〃Where is Marguerite？〃
〃At home。〃
〃Alone？〃
〃With M。 de G。〃
I walked to and fro in the room。
〃Well； what is the matter？〃
〃Do you think it amuses me to wait here till M。 de G。 leaves
Marguerite's？〃
〃How unreasonable you are！ Don't you see that Marguerite can't turn
the count out of doors？ M。 de G。 has been with her for a long time； he has
always given her a lot of money； he still does。 Marguerite spends more
than a hundred thousand francs a year； she has heaps of debts。 The duke
gives her all that she asks for； but she does not always venture to ask him
for all that she is in want of。 It would never do for her to quarrel with the
count； who is worth to her at least ten thousand francs a year。 Marguerite
is very fond of you； my dear fellow； but your liaison with her； in her
interests and in yours； ought not to be serious。 You with your seven or
eight thousand francs a year； what could you do toward supplying all the
luxuries which a girl like that is in need of？ It would not be enough to
keep her carriage。 Take Marguerite for what she is； for a good； bright；
pretty girl； be her lover for a month； two months； give her flowers； sweets；
boxes at the theatre； but don't get any other ideas into your head； and don't
make absurd scenes of jealousy。 You know whom you have to do with；
Marguerite isn't a saint。 She likes you； you are very fond of her； let the rest
alone。 You amaze me when I see you so touchy； you have the most
charming mistress in Paris。 She receives you in the greatest style； she is
covered with diamonds； she needn't cost you a penny； unless you like； and