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puts it on slightly； so that it only scrapes the wheel； producing a
continuous sound as of the sharpening of a saw； for four miles an hour he
screws it down harder； and you travel to an accompaniment of groans and
shrieks； suggestive of a symphony of dying pigs。 When he desires to
come to a full stop； he puts it on to its full。 If his brake be a good one； he
calculates he can stop his carriage； unless the horse be an extra powerful
animal； in less than twice its own length。 Neither the German driver nor
the German horse knows； apparently； that you can stop a carriage by any
other method。 The German horse continues to pull with his full strength
until he finds it impossible to move the vehicle another inch； then he rests。
Horses of other countries are quite willing to stop when the idea is
suggested to them。 I have known horses content to go even quite slowly。
But your German horse； seemingly； is built for one particular speed； and is
unable to depart from it。 I am stating nothing but the literal； unadorned
truth； when I say I have seen a German coachman； with the reins lying
loose over the splash…board； working his brake with both hands； in terror
lest he would not be in time to avoid a collision。
At Waldshut； one of those little sixteenth…century towns through which
the Rhine flows during its earlier course； we came across that exceedingly
common object of the Continent： the travelling Briton grieved and
surprised at the unacquaintance of the foreigner with the subtleties of the
English language。 When we entered the station he was； in very fair
English； though with a slight Somersetshire accent； explaining to a porter
for the tenth time； as he informed us； the simple fact that though he
himself had a ticket for Donaueschingen； and wanted to go to
Donaueschingen； to see the source of the Danube； which is not there；
though they tell you it is； he wished his bicycle to be sent on to Engen and
his bag to Constance； there to await his arrival。 He was hot and angry
with the effort of the thing。 The porter was a young man in years； but at
the moment looked old and miserable。 I offered my services。 I wish
now I had notthough not so fervently； I expect； as he； the speechless one；
came subsequently to wish this。 All three routes； so the porter explained
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to us； were complicated； necessitating changing and re…changing。 There
was not much time for calm elucidation； as our own train was starting in a
few minutes。 The man himself was volublealways a mistake when
anything entangled has to be made clear； while the porter was only too
eager to get the job done with and so breathe again。 It dawned upon me
ten minutes later； when thinking the matter over in the train； that though I
had agreed with the porter that it would be best for the bicycle to go by
way of Immendingen； and had agreed to his booking it to Immendingen； I
had neglected to give instructions for its departure from Immendingen。
Were I of a despondent temperament I should be worrying myself at the
present moment with the reflection that in all probability that bicycle is
still at Immendingen to this day。 But I regard it as good philosophy to
endeavour always to see the brighter side of things。 Possibly the porter
corrected my omission on his own account； or some simple miracle may
have happened to restore that bicycle to its owner some time before the
end of his tour。 The bag we sent to Radolfzell： but here I console
myself with the recollection that it was labelled Constance； and no doubt
after a while the railway authorities； finding it unclaimed at Radolfzell；
forwarded it on to Constance。
But all this is apart from the moral I wished to draw from the incident。
The true inwardness of the situation lay in the indignation of this Britisher
at finding a German railway porter unable to comprehend English。 The
moment we spoke to him he expressed this indignation in no measured
terms。
〃Thank you very much indeed；〃 he said； 〃it's simple enough。 I want
to go to Donaueschingen myself by train； from Donaueschingen I am
going to walk to Geisengen； from Geisengen I am going to take the train
to Engen； and from Engen I am going to bicycle to Constance。 But I don't
want to take my bag with me； I want to find it at Constance when I get
there。 I have been trying to explain the thing to this fool for the last ten
minutes； but I can't get it into him。〃
〃It is very disgraceful；〃 I agreed。 〃Some of these German workmen
know hardly any other language than their own。〃
〃I have gone over it with him；〃 continued the man； 〃on the time table；
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and explained it by pantomime。 Even then I could not knock it into
him。〃
〃I can hardly believe you；〃 I again remarked； 〃you would think the
thing explained itself。〃
Harris was angry with the man； he wished to reprove him for his folly
in journeying through the outlying portions of a foreign clime； and seeking
in such to accomplish complicated railway tricks without knowing a word
of the language of the country。 But I checked the impulsiveness of Harris；
and pointed out to him the great and good work at which the man was
unconsciously assisting。
Shakespeare and Milton may have done their little best to spread
acquaintance with the English tongue among the less favoured inhabitants
of Europe。 Newton and Darwin may have rendered their language a
necessity among educated and thoughtful foreigners。 Dickens and Ouida
（for your folk who imagine that the literary world is bounded by the
prejudices of New Grub Street； would be surprised and grieved at the
position occupied abroad by this at… home…sneered…at lady） may have
helped still further to popularise it。 But the man who has spread the
knowledge of English from Cape St。 Vincent to the Ural Mountains is the
Englishman who； unable or unwilling to learn a single word of any
language but his own； travels purse in hand into every corner of the
Continent。 One may be shocked at his ignorance； annoyed at his
stupidity； angry at his presumption。 But the practical fact remains； he it
is that is anglicising Europe。 For him the Swiss peasant tramps through
the snow on winter evenings to attend the English class open in every
village。 For him the coachman and the guard； the chambermaid and the
laundress； pore over their English grammars and colloquial phrase books。
For him the foreign shopkeeper and merchant send their sons and
daughters in their thousands to study in every English town。 For him it is
that every foreign hotel… and restaurant…keeper adds to his advertisement：
〃Only those with fair knowledge of English need apply。〃
Did the English…speaking races make it their rule to speak anything
else than English； the marvellous progress of the English tongue
throughout the world would stop。 The English…speaking man stands
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amid the strangers and jingles his gold。
〃Here；〃 cries； 〃is payment for all such as can speak English。〃
He it is who is the great educator。 Theoretically we may scold him；
practically we should take our hats off to him。 He is the missionary of
the English tongue。
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CHAPTER XII
We are grieved at the earthly instincts of the GermanA superb view；