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hold of my private copy of Fireside Conversation in the Age of queen
Elizabeth。 Remind me to lock it up somewhere； will you？〃
This secret masterpiece by Mark Twain was one of the bookseller's
treasures。 Not even Helen had ever been permitted to read it； and she
had shrewdly judged that it was not in her line； for though she knew
perfectly well where he kept it （together with his life insurance policy；
some Liberty Bonds； an autograph letter from Charles Spencer Chaplin；
and a snapshot of herself taken on their honeymoon） she had never made
any attempt to examine it。
〃Well；〃 said Helen； 〃Titania or no Titania； if the Corn Cobs want their
chocolate cake to…night； I must get busy。 Take my suitcase upstairs like a
good fellow。〃
A gathering of booksellers is a pleasant sanhedrim to attend。 The
members of this ancient craft bear mannerisms and earmarks just as
definitely recognizable as those of the cloak and suit business or any other
trade。 They are likely to be a little shall we sayworn at the bindings；
as becomes men who have forsaken worldly profit to pursue a noble
calling ill rewarded in cash。 They are possibly a trifle embittered； which is
an excellent demeanour for mankind in the face of inscrutable heaven。
Long experience with publishers salesmen makes them suspicious of
books praised between the courses of a heavy meal。 When a publisher's
salesman takes you out to dinner； it is not surprising if the conversation
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THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP
turns toward literature about the time the last of the peas are being harried
about the plate。 But； as Jerry Gladfist says （he runs a shop up on Thirty…
Eighth Street） the publishers' salesmen supply a long…felt want； for they do
now and then buy one a dinner the like of which no bookseller would
otherwise be likely to commit。
〃Well； gentlemen；〃 said Roger as his guests assembled in his little
cabinet； 〃it's a cold evening。 Pull up toward the fire。 Make free with the
cider。 The cake's on the table。 My wife came back from Boston
specially to make it。〃
〃Here's Mrs。 Mifflin's health！〃 said Mr。 Chapman； a quiet little man
who had a habit of listening to what he heard。 〃I hope she doesn't mind
keeping the shop while we celebrate？〃
〃Not a bit；〃 said Roger。 〃She enjoys it。〃
〃I see Tarzan of the Apes is running at the Gissing Street movie
palace；〃 said Gladfist。 〃Great stuff。 Have you seen it？〃
〃Not while I can still read The Jungle Book；〃 said Roger。
〃You make me tired with that talk about literature；〃 cried Jerry。 〃A
book's a book； even if Harold Bell Wright wrote it。〃 〃A book's a book if
you enjoy reading it；〃 amended Meredith； from a big Fifth Avenue
bookstore。 〃Lots of people enjoy Harold Bell Wright just as lots of
people enjoy tripe。 Either of them would kill me。 But let's be tolerant。〃
〃Your argument is a whole succession of non sequiturs；〃 said Jerry；
stimulated by the cider to unusual brilliance。
〃That's a long putt；〃 chuckled Benson； the dealer in rare books and
first editions。
〃What I mean is this；〃 said Jerry。 〃We aren't literary critics。 It's none
of our business to say what's good and what isn't。 Our job is simply to
supply the public with the books it wants when it wants them。 How it
comes to want the books it does is no concern of ours。〃
〃You're the guy that calls bookselling the worst business in the world；〃
said Roger warmly； 〃and you're the kind of guy that makes it so。 I suppose
you would say that it is no concern of the bookseller to try to increase the
public appetite for books？〃
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THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP
〃Appetite is too strong a word；〃 said Jerry。 〃As far as books are
concerned the public is barely able to sit up and take a little liquid
nourishment。 Solid foods don't interest it。 If you try to cram roast beef
down the gullet of an invalid you'll kill him。 Let the public alone； and
thank God when it comes round to amputate any of its hard…earned cash。〃
〃Well； take it on the lowest basis；〃 said Roger。 〃I haven't any facts to
go upon〃
〃You never have；〃 interjected Jerry。
〃But I'd like to bet that the Trade has made more money out of Bryce's
American Commonwealth than it ever did out of all Parson Wright's books
put together。〃
〃What of it？ Why shouldn't they make both？〃
This preliminary tilt was interrupted by the arrival of two more visitors；
and Roger handed round mugs of cider； pointed to the cake and the basket
of pretzels； and lit his corn…cob pipe。 The new arrivals were Quincy and
Fruehling； the former a clerk in the book department of a vast drygoods
store； the latter the owner of a bookshop in the Hebrew quarter of Grand
Street one of the best…stocked shops in the city； though little known to
uptown book…lovers。
〃Well；〃 said Fruehling； his bright dark eyes sparkling above richly
tinted cheek…bones and bushy beard； 〃what's the argument？〃
〃The usual one；〃 said Gladfist； grinning； 〃Mifflin confusing
merchandise with metaphysics。〃
MIFFLINNot at all。 I am simply saying that it is good business to
sell only the best。
GLADFISTWrong again。 You must select your stock according to
your customers。 Ask Quincy here。 Would there be any sense in his
loading up his shelves with Maeterlinck and Shaw when the department…
store trade wants Eleanor Porter and the Tarzan stuff？ Does a country
grocer carry the same cigars that are listed on the wine card of a Fifth
Avenue hotel？ Of course not。 He gets in the cigars that his trade enjoys
and is accustomed to。 Bookselling must obey the ordinary rules of
commerce。
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THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP
MIFFLINA fig for the ordinary rules of commerce！ I came over here
to Gissing Street to get away from them。 My mind would blow out its
fuses if I had to abide by the dirty little considerations of supply and
demand。 As far as I am concerned； supply CREATES demand。
GLADFISTStill； old chap； you have to abide by the dirty little
consideration of earning a living； unless someone has endowed you？
BENSONOf course my line of business isn't strictly the same as you
fellows'。 But a thought that has often occurred to me in selling rare
editions may interest you。 The customer's willingness to part with his
money is usually in inverse ratio to the permanent benefit he expects to
derive from what he purchases。
MEREDITHSounds a bit like John Stuart Mill。
BENSONEven so； it may be true。 Folks will pay a darned sight
more to be amused than they will to be exalted。 Look at the way a man
shells out five bones for a couple of theatre seats； or spends a couple of
dollars a week on cigars without thinking of it。 Yet two dollars or five
dollars for a book costs him positive anguish。 The mistake you fellows in
the retail trade have made is in trying to persuade your customers that
books are necessities。 Tell them they're luxuries。 That'll get them！
People have to work so hard in this life they're shy of necessities。 A man
will go on wearing a suit until it's threadbare； much sooner than smoke a
thread bare cigar。
GLADFISTNot a bad thought。 You know； Mifflin here calls me a
material…minded cynic； but by thunder； I think I'm more idealistic than he
is。 I'm no propagandist incessantly trying to cajole poor innocent
customers into buying t