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even end in my driving up to Toad Hall in a motor…car！ That will be one in
the eye for Badger！'
He stepped confidently out into the road to hail the motor… car； which
came along at an easy pace； slowing down as it neared the lane； when
suddenly he became very pale； his heart turned to water； his knees shook
and yielded under him； and he doubled up and collapsed with a sickening
pain in his interior。 And well he might； the unhappy animal； for the
approaching car was the very one he had stolen out of the yard of the Red
Lion Hotel on that fatal day when all his troubles began！ And the people in
it were the very same people he had sat and watched at luncheon in the
coffee…room！
He sank down in a shabby； miserable heap in the road； murmuring to
himself in his despair； ‘It's all up！ It's all over now！ Chains and policemen
again！ Prison again！ Dry bread and water again！ O； what a fool I have
been！ What did I want to go strutting about the country for； singing
conceited songs； and hailing people in broad day on the high road； instead
of hiding till nightfall and slipping home quietly by back ways！ O hapless
Toad！ O ill…fated animal！'
The terrible motor…car drew slowly nearer and nearer； till at last he
heard it stop just short of him。 Two gentlemen got out and walked round
the trembling heap of crumpled misery lying in the road； and one of them
said； ‘O dear！ this is very sad！ Here is a poor old thinga washerwoman
apparentlywho has fainted in the road！ Perhaps she is overcome by the
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heat； poor creature； or possibly she has not had any food to…day。 Let us lift
her into the car and take her to the nearest village； where doubtless she has
friends。'
They tenderly lifted Toad into the motor…car and propped him up with
soft cushions； and proceeded on their way。
When Toad heard them talk in so kind and sympathetic a way； and
knew that he was not recognised； his courage began to revive； and he
cautiously opened first one eye and then the other。
‘Look！' said one of the gentlemen； ‘she is better already。 The fresh air
is doing her good。 How do you feel now； ma'am？'
‘Thank you kindly； Sir；' said Toad in a feeble voice； ‘I'm feeling a great
deal better！' ‘That's right；' said the gentleman。 ‘Now keep quite still； and；
above all； don't try to talk。'
‘I won't；' said Toad。 ‘I was only thinking； if I might sit on the front seat
there； beside the driver； where I could get the fresh air full in my face； I
should soon be all right again。'
‘What a very sensible woman！' said the gentleman。 ‘Of course you
shall。' So they carefully helped Toad into the front seat beside the driver；
and on they went again。
Toad was almost himself again by now。 He sat up； looked about him；
and tried to beat down the tremors； the yearnings； the old cravings that
rose up and beset him and took possession of him entirely。
‘It is fate！' he said to himself。 ‘Why strive？ why struggle？' and he
turned to the driver at his side。
‘Please； Sir；' he said； ‘I wish you would kindly let me try and drive the
car for a little。 I've been watching you carefully； and it looks so easy and
so interesting； and I should like to be able to tell my friends that once I had
driven a motor…car！'
The driver laughed at the proposal； so heartily that the gentleman
inquired what the matter was。 When he heard； he said； to Toad's delight；
‘Bravo； ma'am！ I like your spirit。 Let her have a try； and look after her。 She
won't do any harm。'
Toad eagerly scrambled into the seat vacated by the driver； took the
steering…wheel in his hands； listened with affected humility to the
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instructions given him； and set the car in motion； but very slowly and
carefully at first； for he was determined to be prudent。
The gentlemen behind clapped their hands and applauded； and Toad
heard them saying； ‘How well she does it！ Fancy a washerwoman driving
a car as well as that； the first time！'
Toad went a little faster； then faster still； and faster。
He heard the gentlemen call out warningly； ‘Be careful；
washerwoman！' And this annoyed him； and he began to lose his head。
The driver tried to interfere； but he pinned him down in his seat with
one elbow； and put on full speed。 The rush of air in his face； the hum of
the engines； and the light jump of the car beneath him intoxicated his weak
brain。 ‘Washerwoman； indeed！' he shouted recklessly。 ‘Ho！ ho！ I am the
Toad； the motor…car snatcher； the prison…breaker； the Toad who always
escapes！ Sit still； and you shall know what driving really is； for you are in
the hands of the famous； the skilful； the entirely fearless Toad！'
With a cry of horror the whole party rose and flung themselves on him。
‘Seize him！' they cried； ‘seize the Toad； the wicked animal who stole our
motor…car！ Bind him； chain him； drag him to the nearest police…station！
Down with the desperate and dangerous Toad！'
Alas！ they should have thought； they ought to have been more prudent；
they should have remembered to stop the motor…car somehow before
playing any pranks of that sort。 With a half…turn of the wheel the Toad sent
the car crashing through the low hedge that ran along the roadside。 One
mighty bound； a violent shock； and the wheels of the car were churning up
the thick mud of a horse…pond。
Toad found himself flying through the air with the strong upward rush
and delicate curve of a swallow。 He liked the motion； and was just
beginning to wonder whether it would go on until he developed wings and
turned into a Toad…bird； when he landed on his back with a thump； in the
soft rich grass of a meadow。 Sitting up； he could just see the motor…car in
the pond； nearly submerged； the gentlemen and the driver； encumbered by
their long coats； were floundering helplessly in the water。
He picked himself up rapidly； and set off running across country as
hard as he could； scrambling through hedges； jumping ditches； pounding
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across fields； till he was breathless and weary； and had to settle down into
an easy walk。 When he had recovered his breath somewhat； and was able
to think calmly； he began to giggle； and from giggling he took to laughing；
and he laughed till he had to sit down under a hedge。 ‘Ho； ho！' he cried； in
ecstasies of self…admiration； ‘Toad again！ Toad； as usual； comes out on the
top！ Who was it got them to give him a lift？ Who managed to get on the
front seat for the sake of fresh air？ Who persuaded them into letting him
see if he could drive？ Who landed them all in a horse…pond？ Who escaped；
flying gaily and unscathed through the air； leaving the narrow…minded；
grudging； timid excursionists in the mud where they should rightly be？
Why； Toad； of course； clever Toad； great Toad； GOOD Toad！'
Then he burst into song again； and chanted with uplifted voice
‘The motor…car went Poop…poop…poop； As it raced along the road。
Who was it steered it into a pond？ Ingenious Mr。 Toad！
O； how clever I am！ How clever； how clever； how very clev'
A slight noise at a distance behind him made him turn his head and
look。 O horror！ O misery！ O despair！
About two fields off； a chauffeur in his leather gaiters and two large
rural policemen were visible； running towards him as hard as they could
go！
Poor Toad sprang to his feet and pelted away again； his heart in his
mouth。 O； my！' he gasped； as he panted along； ‘what an ASS I am！ What a
CONCEITED and heedless ass！ Swaggering again！ Shouting and singing
songs again！ Sitting still and gassing again！ O my！ O my！ O my！'
He glanced back； and saw to his dismay that they were gaining on him。
On he ran desperately； but kept looking back； and saw that they still
gained steadily。 He did his best； but he was a fat animal； and his legs were
short； and still they gained。 He could hear t